Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Five to Ten Years

Could have received nine to twenty-three months.
Lawyer asked for three to six years.
So much loss across the board.
A mother losses her son.
A daughter losses her father. It is all very sad.
But is it fair?

I cannot answer for anyone else. What I saw displayed in that court room was a system that does not work, lying, manipulation and PTSD? Come on. Let us get real. If she (Daniella) suffered from PTSD then why all the email messages and phone calls? Why would she leave a message saying and I quote, "Happy Father's Day to the sexiest father I know.". All the messages saying how much she wanted to have sex. How much she loved him. It is beyond sick. Why was this not brought up in court? The emails were printed out. The voice messages recorded.

She (Daniella) reported he could not get an erection and became angry. Seriously? Daniella should have been called out on the carpet. She was not. Her family thinks she is innocent. My God, she is far from it.

Borderline traits. I recognized the traits immediately. I would not be surprised if she was diagnosed with BPD by one of the professionals she saw in the last four years. Attention Seeking. Fear of being alone. Abandonment issues. What else could explain all the lies from "My mother will lose the house if she does not get a renter to can I live at your house to I have to leave my home by 2/1/11 because my mom rented out my room". These were her stories. She lied to my son. Told him so many bullshit lies and he did not see it. He believed her.  Then there was the heroin use.

Then she got pregnant yet again by the same father and gave birth to another child in 2012. When she stood in front of the judge to be sentenced she was ready to give birth so they gave her probation when clearly she should have received jail time. She has had at least three related drug charges, violated probation, spent time in jail already and went on Methadone Maintenance and mandated to a recovery house. There were a lot of fake tears and tons of  emotional drama/outbursts. Another characteristic of BPD. Inability to regulate emotions. Clings to men. Lies. Lies. And more lies.

I have held my tongue for over three years. I am not holding my tongue any longer. I am not going to write out of anger but I will write the truth. The entire truth.

I dreamed a dream of how life would be.
Sweeter than this hell I am living.

It is hell. Friends fell by the way side. They could not wrap their head around this. I have not seen my granddaughter since last October, This was not by my choice. I never dreamed I would lose my granddaughter. To be treated like a pariah. I still pay financial support though I wonder why I continue to do so. I could just place that money in an account until she reaches her majority. I am this distant grandmother who is so close but yet so far away. I do not like it. I do not have a choice. All I can do is sit and wait then wait some more probably until she reaches 18 years old. I resent missing her childhood. All that is sweet.  One cannot get back lost years. I committed no crime though I am being punished.

Is this fair? I think not. No one ever said that life was fair.

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