The decorations still remain in the spot I left them last night. Today, I may be welcoming my fourth grandchild and second granddaughter. Somehow life goes on despite the pain and I look forward to surviving another day.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
Christmas Past Present and Future
I am tired this morning. I had a difficult evening that resulted in a difficult night. There were so many emotions floating around as I tried to decorate for Christmas. I have not been in some of those storage containers for four years. All those special tree ornaments and carefully wrapped and stored Santa's and snow men. I came across a ceramic ginger bread house in which the words mom mom and pop pop were lovingly painted on the sides. I came across a stocking I had purchased that Christmas for Jason. Then I came across the snowman stocking holder that hung that stocking from my mantel over the fireplace in that once upon a time house. The emotions overwhelmed me. I sat on the floor surrounded by memories and sobbed. Sobbed for a little boy who no longer celebrates Christmas and for a life that no longer existed because of the choices made and the events that followed. Sobbed for myself, my granddaughter, my son and all the christmas seasons past and future.