I think of you each and every day however today you lay particularly heavy upon my heart. I miss you so much it often physically hurts. It has been nearly a year since I last saw you and that memory is of you waving and smiling to me from the back seat of your mother's car as we met for breakfast. You ordered pancakes and leaned over to me and asked me if I wanted to go to Target. I was thrilled to go and we let you pick out your Halloween outfit which was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. We bought you the movie to go with the costume. I really do not know what the future will bring and I do not want to waste energy judging or blaming. I am sure your mother is making the best decisions possible in an impossible situation and though I never met him I hope your step father is good to you. I want you to be happy and healthy though I sometimes wonder if you think about us and if you do think about us do you wonder where we went. I hope that thought does not cause you pain nor a void within your heart. Sometimes, we have an empty void inside that we cannot pin point. Children often cannot conceptionalize nor verbalize that feeling even when the feeling does exist. None of this was my choice. I want you to know that I never abandoned you and I love you more each day. You were my sunshine, my darling, my sweetheart and your loss has been very painful. Losing you and your Dad is something I could never imagine but imagining it or not it has happened. I think I am going to write letters occasionally on this site or perhaps a new site. I will never stop loving you and that is my promise. Until we see each other again.