Dear Donna, Patty, Marge, Mary, Lisa and Regina,

                                                              Thank you so much for the laughs, tears, food, drink and your love and support. Old friends are the best friends. I have known you since we were teenagers. Many of us went our own separate ways throughout the years to become educated, work, get married and raise families. Thankfully, we reunited and even though many years have gone by, it seems like we just picked up where we left off. Yes. Some of us stayed in contact with this one and that one, but now we are all back together, "Our Posse".

We had great fun over the summer. We had great fun yesterday, and we will have great fun at Regina's October 27th. I find it totally amazing that when I needed you guys, you dropped everything and came yesterday with a week's notice. It is either Donna's organizational skills, or her threats (insert smile) that got you here. I wanted to talk about all the things that occurred over the last 20 months. I spoke about my fears, my losses, my need for support. You guys listened, preached and had me in laughter. I know you guys love and care about me unconditionally, and I know that I am really blessed to have friends who are there no matter what.

You guys had been patient. You guys waited until I was ready to talk, though you knew what was going on. You guys recognized my sadness, but never pointed it out. You remained silent until I was ready. I know now that I was never judged for my mothering skills, or my ability to be a good grandmother. I think I recall one of you saying, "I am gonna punch you in the head". LOL

Honest, straight forward, right from the hip with no holding back. I love it! At one point, I believe all of you were talking at once, while one of you (Patty the Lawyer), was taking written notes. That in of itself was funny as well. The one thing I noticed in that room yesterday over our wine and goodies was that we all became successful. We are all smart independent women. We are all mothers. Most of us are grandmothers. We are the therapist, nurse, lawyer, financial wizards, nurturers, caretakers. We are strong. We certainly are authentic. Glad there are others louder than me. (insert laugh)

I am glad the balcony was large enough to hold the cigarette smokers, and the dead/dying tree made a good ash tray. Still trying to understand, Lisa's need to spit over the balcony. I seriously believe she wanted to see how it would land on the ground below. By the way, I have so much food. What am I going to do with it? Not to mention, three cakes. Regina, your apple cake was breakfast this morning. Lisa, you should have taken a mason jar home for your hurricane. Marge, we will hold you down and dye your hair. Mary, I did not get evicted. I must say, you can use the "f" word with more fashion than I ever heard. Donna, it was funny watching you organize the girls, and the hoagies were just find even though one of your patients had the nerve to die when you wanted to cook. Thanks for taking that damn turkey off my hands, and I wonder if Bill will notice you drank his Captain Morgan. Patty, you are brilliant, and you really shoot straight from the hip and I am glad you could see the Center City Tower, you work in from my balcony. You came all the way from Jersey. I am grateful.

It is the morning after, so my writing may not be as elegant or my grammar (Donna) perfect. However, Donna did say I write more openly than I speak, so here it is. I love you all. Let me say that again. I love you all. I am really lucky to have friends like you.

                                                                                               Pat

Girls Girls Girls Want to Have Fun and We Sure Did.

Beautiful Full Moon

Mums are starting to bloom on the balcony. The girls loved the balcony.

All Good

Good Morning Saturday, I slept about five hours last night and that is a record breaker for me this week. I feel good. I had a fun time chatting with my friends, Mom, sister and brother (Knoxville) on FB last night. We really laughed. Before it was all said and done there were 114 posts under the picture of Sons of Anarchy, which began the conversation.

The rare blood disorder my Uncle Jack is struggling with and my family members have died from in the past is what Robin Roberts from Good Morning America is struggling with that required her to receive a recent bone marrow transplant. The disorder which is so common in my family history is so rare only about 12,000 people get it. Myelodysplastic Syndrome is a failure of the bone marrow. First it produces tons of immature cells and is considered a blood cancer. My uncle Jack had a platelet count of 900,000 but was bleeding out from internal organs. Normal Platelet counts are between 250,000 to 400,000. In my uncle's case, all these immature platelets were clogging main arteries forcing the blood to back up and bleed out through the capillaries. We need platelets in order for us to stop bleeding. They are small fragments of a cell produced for clotting.

This afternoon, my girlfriends are coming over. I purchased some wine, fresh flowers for the table, veggie and fruit platters and goodies. The girls are bringing food also. They know how much I cook. NOT! That if they wish to eat, they bring food. KIDDING! We always bring food/drink to whoever's house we go to. We did this at Donna's shore house and on Oct 27th, we will do it for Reggie's house in Royersford who is married to the cop who use to chase us off the corner when we were teenagers so it is funny that he is part of the crowd now. Of course, he is retired from the Philly Police Force.

Those who went down for Irish Weekend (not me) said, it was funny having a beer with him. We all grew or I should say most of us.

Anyway, this is the picture that led to 114 posts.

  Jax is mine. LOL

Now He Has Me Thinking

About every emotion I feel. Damn Therapist! Today, I became angry at two different people. Of course, they did not know I was angry, but I was angry nonetheless. Then it happened as I was ranting, (Poor Bill) I began to ask myself am I truly angry at the person/s, or am I really angry at myself? 

Interesting.

Was I angry because of these people I was irritated and frustrated with due to their lack of consistency, or was I mad at myself for allowing myself to be a "fool", "doormat” and know that these people have never been consistent the entire time I have known them, therefore, allowed myself once more to be set up with expectations, which failed. I am not surprised. This is how they have always been. Why do I think they or anyone will change? Why do I continue doing the same thing expecting different results?

When I became aware that I was more angry with myself than them, the anger disappeared and I moved on. Maybe, David has a point.

If someone has no intention of responding to me and I keep pushing, Why get mad at them when I know perfectly well, I cannot change anything. This behavior is nothing new. I have experienced it several times before.

If someone makes a plan then breaks it. Why get mad at them when I know perfectly well, they always break plans. Why would I expect a different action this time?

The thing I learned tonight is some people cannot follow through on plans, some people are not brave enough, mature enough, or just do not care enough. It is "I" who sets the expectations, then when it does not pan out, I get angry and then doubt myself when in all actuality, I am not at fault. There is no one to blame. It is what it is and it is up to me to make different choices or go into a situation with no expectations. Damn Therapist!

My Sister

Has this as her profile picture on FB.

My reaction. WTF and Your Lunch? I guess this makes up for the boring post.

 Five minutes later, she regained her sanity and made this her profile picture.

Very nice family picture. Love the ears!

YAWN

Good Afternoon, Friday! Maybe, one night I will actually sleep. Insomnia kicks ass. I feel good with the exception of "lack of sleep". I am debating whether or not, I will stop at the courthouse in Norristown to check requirements about starting a business here in the Montco county. I already have been to the Media courthouse and Bill inquired in Philly. I want to start a part time private practice while working fulltime during the day. I figure if I got five patients to start, it would be manageable. I already have the space and liability insurance in place and one other therapist interested. Montco is probably where I will practice. I am not taking insurance so it will be a cash based practice. I deal with insurance companies now who dictate treatment so I am staying away from them. I will charge less as a result. I also want to focus on mental health and not drug and alcohol. Thank God, I had the foresight in school to keep my major half and half or else I would be stuck practicing one or the other. I could do both. I do it now. I rather deal with less drama and D&A has alot of drama attached.

The other thing I want to focus on is speaking engagements in schools taking a holistic approach. I truly believe in the holistic approach. What you eat has a direct impact on how you feel emotionally. I already teach holistic approach where I work and people in treatment love it. It is also important to teach people it is ok to talk about how they feel. Too many kids grow up in families where it is not ok to talk about how they feel. They end up becoming adults who shut down emotionally and become rigid.

Anyway, this is my post for the day, I know, "boring".

And So

Here I am on a Thursday night wanting to write but coming up with writer's block? Perhaps? Great Therapy Session today. I now can consider myself the little girl lost within. Seriously, I cannot believe people actually pay to see people like me whom I am now paying someone like me to tell me things. I am probably a lost little girl inside. It is so damn complicated, it would take a year to figure it out let alone describe it. I feel like shit. End of story. Fix me.

Yes. Yes. Yes. I know change can only occur within the person. No one can fix anyone.

God, have I mentioned the amount of paperwork to take a FLM?

Or the amount of paperwork to get the short term disability, I have paid into my entire life? I purchased short and long term disability so I get paid when I am off.

That I cannot return to fulltime employment until the 22nd of October because I need to rest? I am already bored. I have asked for assignments to do at home. Nope! Cannot have any. Teaching? Nope!

Therapist will not slow down so they pulled out the big guns and said, "Rest". You can rejoin the insanity high pressured long hours on the 22nd. Ummm. It went something like this. "You pushed yourself for 20 months. It is time to slow down, regroup, address your attachment and loss issues".

Three against one. I lost. Sort of. A previous patient's parent had been trying to get ahold of me and my supervisor asked me if I could call him. Yes! Yes! Yes! Something productive to do.

Insert one hour and 15 minute break

As I was writing this my sister called me, so I placed this post on hold and chatted over a hour with her. It is great to have a sister. Yeah, I love my brothers, but a sister is different and we have much in common, though she out numbers me in grandchildren. She has three grandsons and a granddaughter. I have two grandsons and a granddaughter. Marianne told me she had been bringing little Sophia to work because her school is closed for holidays. Marianne was to take Joseph and Collin camping this weekend, but the trip was called off due to rain. I am sure they will end up at her shore house this weekend.

My posse support is arriving Saturday afternoon. I told them I needed them and here they shall be. They are even bringing the food and drink. Love those girls! I expect them around 2 or 3. We call ourselves "the posse" because we are a force united. How many friends does one have that actually plan to take their own personal vacation time to sit with one in a court room just for support. I am blessed. We had alot of fun at Donna's shore house this summer.

 Sometimes you just have to wonder why your best friend who you have known since age 14yrs old and was maid of honor in your first wedding at age 20yrs old is kissing a fake parrot.

I see tongue.

Uncle Jack

He has been transferred to Capistrano Beach Care Center and began palliative care. His disease is very rare in the general population, but not rare in my family history. I want to see him. I want to say, "Goodbye". I want to give his family a copy of the article I wrote years ago that was published. It was an interview with him, about his growing up years, his neighborhood, his friends, his connection to Laurel Hill. I gave him a published copy years ago. I am not sure whether or not he still has it. I want to give him another copy and one to his family. I know now, he told me things, he never shared with them. I want to share them. Not once did I ever speak to my uncle where he did not tell me, "I love You". He has been through hell. He lost his leg. He had surgery to stop bleeding in his stomach, liver, esophagus. Before, they took his leg, they tried to save it by cutting it open from hip to toe. All this over a rare blood disorder, a blood cancer out of control.

Palliative care is a step up from hospice. There is really no difference. I cannot imagine what he is thinking. He was so strong, which is why he has survived all these bleed-outs and surgeries. He ate healthy, walked miles everyday, enjoyed his life, laughed, loved, did not drink or smoke, took vitamins, washed his hands to avoid viruses. He was so much like my grandpop. He even resembled him. Out of three sons, Uncle Jack looked like my grandfather. Today, I hold him close to my heart and hope I am on a plane to Southern California in the near future.

  Uncle Jack with my cousin John and his son, Finn. We are a tall family and Uncle Jack reminded me of my grandfather who when he walked into a room, you felt his presence.

Grandpop holding my son, Shaun in 1978. I adored this man.

Uncle Jack and Aunt Polly's children and grandchildren. They had five boys before they had a girl. From left to right, Matt, Kathleen, John, Paul, Brian, Eric, Aunt Polly and Uncle Jack. My cousin Kathleen is 6 feet tall. She is the tallest female granddaughter/cousin among the females in our family. I am the shortest at 5"7". Birth order of my California born cousins are; Eric, John, Brian, Matthew, Paul and Kathleen. Uncle Jack is the second oldest of five children born to William and Anna McCaffrey Gallagher.

My grandparents named all their children after a family member; William Joseph (after his Dad), John Patrick (after my grandmom's Dad), Collum Eugene (after my grandmom's cousin and the priest(Father Eugene) who was godfather to my great grandmother Mary Keller Gallagher), Mary Louise (after my great grandmother and the Blessed Virgin) and Ann Marie (after her Mom).

Soccer Days

I am in the second row, second from the left. I was 17yrs old. Lansing Soccer Team in 1977. Many of these girls on this team are still my friends today and will be over on Saturday.

Bill's Work

This is a series of pictures Bill put together from New Orleans. These pictures really give one a real taste of what New Orleans is really like.

Click on for a better view.

Burnout

Sometimes it’s too late to prevent burnout – you’re already past the breaking point. If that’s the case, it’s important to take your burnout very seriously. Trying to push through the exhaustion and continue as you have been will only cause further emotional and physical damage.

While the tips for preventing burnout are still helpful at this stage, recovery requires additional steps.

Burnout recovery strategy #1: Slow down

When you’ve reached the end stage of burnout, adjusting your attitude or looking after your health isn’t going to solve the problem. You need to force yourself to slow down or take a break. Cut back whatever commitments and activities you can. Give yourself time to rest, reflect, and heal.

Burnout recovery strategy #2: Get support

When you’re burned out, the natural tendency is to protect what little energy you have left by isolating yourself. But your friends and family are more important than ever during difficult times. Turn to your loved ones for support. Simply sharing your feelings with another person can relieve some of the burden.

Burnout recovery strategy #3: Reevaluate your goals and priorities

Burnout is an undeniable sign that something important in your life is not working. Take time to think about your hopes, goals, and dreams. Are you neglecting something that is truly important to you? Burnout can be an opportunity to rediscover what really makes you happy and to change course accordingly.

Recovering from burnout: Acknowledge your losses

Burnout brings with it many losses, which can often go unrecognized. Unrecognized losses trap a lot of your energy. It takes a tremendous amount of emotional control to keep yourself from feeling the pain of these losses. When you recognize these losses and allow yourself to grieve them, you release that trapped energy and open yourself to healing.

Acknowledging one's losses when recovering from burnout really got my attention, because the last few sentences speak directly to what I have been doing. I spent an unbelievable amount of energy trying to avoid the pain I felt deep inside and kept pushing forward as though this alone would remove the intense emotional pain deep within. Now as I sit in the burnout stage of my life, I recognize how much energy I wasted on things I have no control over. Today, I feel the pain in its entirety as I refuse to medicate or work it away. I have come to a place where it is time to feel and grieve with the hope that I can let it all go. The feelings are unbearable at times especially in the wee hours of the night when I cannot sleep. Right now, I am doing what I can to move forward. I have reached out to friends and family. As a matter of fact, the posse (friends I have known since high school) are all coming over Saturday. I have been in touch with other friends from work. Most importantly, the therapist cannot heal thy self, so I see one myself. I also come from a behavioral background and I have been more in tune to the behaviors around me. I have removed the rose-colored glasses and come to realize that while some others think I am the fool, I am not the fool. I just chose to not act on the behavior that is presented, because I either do not care anymore, or I do not have the energy to waste. I have a plan as suggested by my mother and a good friend and I will proceed with that plan when I feel stronger. First things first.

Me

It is a beautiful morning. I sat in the sun on the balcony and drank my Tahitea. Insomnia kept me awake until the alarm went off at 5a. I could have stayed in bed snuggled under the blankets, but I decided to get up and enjoy the morning. I love the sounds of morning.

When I write, I write from the heart. I know some readers have made fun of some of the things I wrote about. It is funny how things come back to one. Somehow, they always do. It is sad that some people make fun of the feelings of others, but that is out of my control. I write for myself. These are my thoughts. These are my feelings. They belong to me. I live my own life. I do not see anyone living my life for me.

I am not afraid to admit when I struggle. I can only hope that if there is someone else out there who struggles, they know they are not alone. That being said, time to change the subject or else I will sound like a pathetic self-pity individual and if there are four words, I can't tolerate it is "pity, sympathy, pathetic and rejection". As David states, "I feel responsible but I am not responsible". He also states, "15% is loss. 85% is responsibility which = guilt which = anxiety". Guess what I am working on?

 My brother Michael and I.

My sister Marianne and I. I was 5yrs old.

Not sure of my age but my hair became less red and more blond. I think I was 8yrs old.

Age 15yrs old. Going to the prom.

Age 18yrs old.

No Answers

The past few weeks have been difficult. I wish I had the answers. I have no answers. I place one foot in front of the other and move forward though at times, I feel like I have taken a fall backwards. So to amuse myself I came across this picture taken after a day at work.

I look alittle worn out, but hey, look what I do for a living. I am not sure when I had this picture taken, but I know those photos on my bureau are no longer there. Once upon a time, I had every room filled with pictures of past and present. Today, I stored them away because at this time in my life, it is just too painful to be reminded of what I had and lost. Though, I do have this little girl on my bureau.

She is me. Reddish blond hair, green eyes and living with my grandparents, as my parents were in the middle of a divorce. When I look at her, I cannot help, but feel sorry for her. She had no idea what life would be and the trials and tribulations, she was to face in the coming years. The one thing she wished for she had, but lost and her days would be spent in hurt, pain, guilt and regret. She learned how to wear a mask and keep it firmly in place, as to keep others from looking deep within her soul. She grew up to love the beauty of flowers and tried to make the best out of a new living situation.

Most house plants tend to die under my care. However, this plant was so unique, I had to buy it and so far it has survived four months.

 I had little success trying to grow or keep alive any flowers or plants on this 10th floor balcony. We get full sun everyday all day, but it is the cross winds that create the most peril to the flowers. My mother gave me some suggestions which I will look into. I miss the four gardens I created at my house. I loved creating and getting my hands in the dirt. Now, I must make the best out of where I live.

I hope the Fall mums bloom as their colors will be very beautiful. I have some flower beds that grew summer lilies, so I will keep the beds and see if they come back next year.

My Oldest Grandchild Age 11yrs

Until

Listen, can you hear it,
there's an angel whispering your name.
A new life has begun now,
but my love for you will stay the same

We were so lucky, to have known you even for a while.
Lucky, that you chose us,
that you've blessed us with your lovely smile

How I wish that I could see you once more,
how I long to hold you in my arms.

Stroke your hair before I kiss you gently,
lay you down to sleep just one more time.

I'll hear your laughter I'll remember how we
use to play and I'll cherish the memory,
until I'm home with you one day.

Forgive me if I'm not strong,
it's so hard to know I must go on,
but I know that I'm here now
and for now this is where I belong

And if I could hear you,
I imagine this is what you'll say,
you'll tell me not to worry,
to let go and know that you're ok.

How I wish that I could see you once more,
how I long to hold you in my arms.
Stroke your hair before I kiss you gently,
lay you down to sleep just one more time.

I'll hear your laughter I'll remember how we
use to play and I'll cherish the memory,
until I'm home with you one day.

How I wish that I could see you once more,
how I long to hold you in my arms.
Stroke your hair before I kiss you gently,
lay you down to sleep just one more time.

I'll hear your laughter I'll remember how we
use to play and I'll cherish the memory,
until I'm home with you one day

PTSD

How is PTSD treated?

The main treatments for people with PTSD are psychotherapy (“talk” therapy), medications, or both. Everyone is different, so a treatment that works for one person may not work for another. It is important for anyone with PTSD to be treated by a mental health care provider who is experienced with PTSD. Some people with PTSD need to try different treatments to find what works for their symptoms.
If someone with PTSD is going through an ongoing trauma, such as being in an abusive relationship, both of the problems need to be treated. Other ongoing problems can include panic disorder, depression, substance abuse, and feeling suicidal.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is “talk” therapy. It involves talking with a mental health professional to treat a mental illness. Psychotherapy can occur one-on-one or in a group. Talk therapy treatment for PTSD usually lasts 6 to 12 weeks, but can take more time. Research shows that support from family and friends can be an important part of therapy.
Many types of psychotherapy can help people with PTSD. Some types target the symptoms of PTSD directly. Other therapies focus on social, family, or job-related problems. The doctor or therapist may combine different therapies depending on each person’s needs.
One helpful therapy is called cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT. There are several parts to CBT, including:

• Exposure therapy. This therapy helps people face and control their fear. It exposes them to the trauma they experienced in a safe way. It uses mental imagery, writing, or visits to the place where the event happened. The therapist uses these tools to help people with PTSD cope with their feelings.
• Cognitive restructuring. This therapy helps people make sense of the bad memories. Sometimes people remember the event differently than how it happened. They may feel guilt or shame about what is not their fault. The therapist helps people with PTSD look at what happened in a realistic way.
• Stress inoculation training. This therapy tries to reduce PTSD symptoms by teaching a person how to reduce anxiety. Like cognitive restructuring, this treatment helps people look at their memories in a healthy way.

How can I help a friend or relative who has PTSD?

If you know someone who has PTSD, it affects you too. The first and most important thing you can do to help a friend or relative is to help him or her get the right diagnosis and treatment. You may need to make an appointment for your friend or relative and go with him or her to see the doctor. Encourage him or her to stay in treatment, or to seek different treatment if his or her symptoms don’t get better after 6 to 8 weeks.
To help a friend or relative, you can:

• Offer emotional support, understanding, patience, and encouragement.
• Learn about PTSD so you can understand what your friend or relative is experiencing.
• Talk to your friend or relative, and listen carefully.
• Listen to feelings your friend or relative expresses and be understanding of situations that may trigger PTSD symptoms.
• Invite your friend or relative out for positive distractions such as walks, outings, and other activities.
• Remind your friend or relative that, with time and treatment, he or she can get better.

Never ignore comments about your friend or relative harming him or herself, and report such comments to your friend’s or relative’s therapist or doctor.

How can I help myself?

It may be very hard to take that first step to help yourself. It is important to realize that although it may take some time, with treatment, you can get better.
To help yourself:

• Talk to your doctor about treatment options.
• Engage in mild activity or exercise to help reduce stress.
• Set realistic goals for yourself.
• Break up large tasks into small ones, set some priorities, and do what you can as you can.
• Try to spend time with other people and confide in a trusted friend or relative. Tell others about things that may trigger symptoms.
• Expect your symptoms to improve gradually, not immediately.
• Identify and seek out comforting situations, places, and people.

NIMH

PTSD

Why do some people get PTSD and other people do not?

It is important to remember that not everyone who lives through a dangerous event gets PTSD. In fact, most will not get the disorder.
Many factors play a part in whether a person will get PTSD. Some of these are risk factors that make a person more likely to get PTSD. Other factors, called resilience factors, can help reduce the risk of the disorder. Some of these risk and resilience factors are present before the trauma and others become important during and after a traumatic event.
Risk factors for PTSD include:

• Living through dangerous events and traumas
• Having a history of mental illness
• Getting hurt
• Seeing people hurt or killed
• Feeling horror, helplessness, or extreme fear
• Having little or no social support after the event
• Dealing with extra stress after the event, such as loss of a loved one, pain and injury, or loss of a job or home.

Resilience factors that may reduce the risk of PTSD include:

• Seeking out support from other people, such as friends and family
• Finding a support group after a traumatic event
• Feeling good about one’s own actions in the face of danger
• Having a coping strategy, or a way of getting through the bad event and learning from it
• Being able to act and respond effectively despite feeling fear.

Researchers are studying the importance of various risk and resilience factors. With more study, it may be possible someday to predict who is likely to get PTSD and prevent it.

NIMH

My own comments in regards to PTSD as it has come to light as a result of the military men returning from war. When we think of PTSD, we think of war. However, most people who develop PTSD have never been to war, but have experienced a trauma in their everyday life.

When a trauma occurs, the first reaction is known as ASD (Acute Stress Disorder) and this is the time, one should seek help because ASD can lead to PTSD. Though, it should be known that everyone with ASD does not develop PTSD. There are several factors such as how long the trauma is prolonged, resilience factors and potential fall out from the trauma, especially if one loses the support of people or a loved one.

Despite my best efforts of avoiding PTSD, I have it. After 20 months of pushing ahead through ASD, throwing myself into work and school, taking over responsibilities of others, I found myself in the mist of all the symptoms associated with PTSD. I recognized them and tried to work through them until I was unable to do so on my own. I am not ashamed to admit the therapist has a therapist and for me talk therapy is best. Zoloft was replaced with Cymbalta. I will not take any other drug whether used on or off label. Since I worked with patients, I took a few weeks off to do some self care. The would haves, should haves, could haves will not change the course of my future or get back what I have lost. I know this now. All the responsibility I felt was not my responsibility at all. I learned this. There are emotional boundaries I need to set, but it will come with baby steps. I am now aware. One of my strengths is research and writing and this is the reason why my focus is on PTSD. It shows its ugly face through depression, angry, nightmares, feelings of self-doubt and extreme periods of anxiety. I am more fortunate than others as I have a very strong support system. I also know that I am not alone.  

What I Learned Today

"I feel responsible but I am not responsible".

My assignment for the week as per David.

!940 Record of Frank C and Mary A Maier

PTSD

What are the symptoms of PTSD?

PTSD can cause many symptoms. These symptoms can be grouped into three categories:
1. Re-experiencing symptoms:

• Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart or sweating
• Bad dreams
• Frightening thoughts.

Re-experiencing symptoms may cause problems in a person’s everyday routine. They can start from the person’s own thoughts and feelings. Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.
2. Avoidance symptoms:

• Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
• Feeling emotionally numb
• Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
• Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
• Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.

Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms. These symptoms may cause a person to change his or her personal routine. For example, after a bad car accident, a person who usually drives may avoid driving or riding in a car.
3. Hyperarousal symptoms:

• Being easily startled
• Feeling tense or “on edge”
• Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.

Hyperarousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.
It’s natural to have some of these symptoms after a dangerous event. Sometimes people have very serious symptoms that go away after a few weeks. This is called acute stress disorder, or ASD. When the symptoms last more than a few weeks and become an ongoing problem, they might be PTSD. Some people with PTSD don’t show any symptoms for weeks or months.

NIMH

2012 will be Known

As the year of the travel. It is September and I have been to more places this year than any other year that I can recall.

• Venice
• Rome
• Amalfi
• London
• New York
• St. George
• Piney Point
• Annapolis
• Shore
• Shore
• and the Shore
• Great Wolf Lodge Poconos
• New Orleans
• Woodland Inn Poconos

And before the year is over, I will probably be adding Southern California to the list.

Awake with the Crickets as the World Sleeps

Sleep eludes me. However, the crickets sound happy. My mind does not know how to shut off. I must have missed that class in school. I have no control over anything right now. My logical mind understands this concept loud and clear. It is the emotional mind that can't get it. Let Go! Let Go! Let Go!

NIDA

It Is All About Nik