Freedom

Understand what freedom is and how it is achieved. Freedom is not the right or ability to do whatever you please. Freedom comes from understanding the limits of our own power and the natural limits put in place by divine providence. By accepting life's limits, and working with them rather than fighting them, will set us free. On the other hand, if we succumb to our passing desires for things that are not in our control, freedom is lost.

Spiritual Progress Is Made Through Confronting Death and Calamity

I swear I just picked up this book and opened it to any page and this was the title. This guy from 94 CE known as Epictetus wrote some amazing stuff and whether it is Karma or Luck or God Or some Creature from Outer Space, why would I open a book up to this particular page on this particular day after last night? If someone has the answer, I sure as hell would love to know. Epictetus writes the following;
"Instead of averting your eyes from the painful events of life, look at them squarely and contemplate them often. By facing the realities of death, infirmity, loss and disappointment, you free yourself of illusions and false hopes and you avoid miserable, envious thoughts."

It does not matter how old your children get, a mother feels their pain. Even though a mother wants to fix it and make the pain go away, she knows she is helpless in many situations and can only stand by and offer words of comfort, a hug, send flowers, and remember. My son is taking this loss extremely hard and when he tells me how "unfair" this is, I can only answer "I know". "Hold on to each other and grieve", I said. It is the only way.

I left class early today and went to see my son who has a birthday next week and to play with my grandsons. As Bill played basketball with the older one, I pushed the younger one around on a swing hanging off of one of their trees. Hell. I even took a turn and swung in circles. Next weekend, we celebrate my Dad's birthday. It is a surprise. I think I will take the boys overnight or at least the one whose life is not filled with baseball. The older one has one hell of a sport's life.

There are many things which occur in life that I do not understand. I suppose I am not to understand them only to accept them.  Life is a journey and I am a prime example.  

Events are Impersonal and Indifferent

I am kind of in a weird mood tonight. Actually, the mood has been lingering above my head all day. I hate when something is broke and I can't fix it. When I find myself in these weird moods, I like to turn to my favorite philosopher "Epictetus". I generally just open to any page and read. Today I read Events Are Impersonal and Indifferent. When considering the future, remember that all situations unfold as they do regardless of how we feel about them. Our hopes and fears sway us, not events themselves. In any event, however seemingly dire, there is nothing to prevent us from searching for its hidden opportunity. It is a failure of the imagination not to do so. But to seek out the opportunity in the situation requires a great deal of courage. There are other several paragraphs that speak to events, but I believe I got the basis of what it means. I ask myself the question, how do you stop missing someone? How do you stop missing an entire past life-style? People do it all the time and I know the quote unquote professional answer "Time". It takes time. We can neither hurry it along or stop it. Time is time. Nothing more nor nothing less.

I spent some time sitting on the terrace outside my room in Amalfi that overlooks the Mediterranean Sea. The sun felt good upon my face and I enjoyed how the sunlight danced across the water. I felt good. Alive. Every problem, every memory was hidden in my mind and all I could think about was the beauty surrounding me. Rome was fun. The sights in Venice were magnificent. But here in this magical place, I felt at peace with myself and the world. When it came time to leave, I felt sadness. When we flew back to London, I considered getting on a plane to Ireland and finding family and staying with them while working at a pub. It is a one hour flight from London to Dublin. I was so tempted. Forget about responsibility to others. Obviously, the practical Pat came back to the real world with the real mortgage, real job and real problems. So here I am looking out the window of a 10th floor Condo watching the white fluffy clouds float by in the blue sky. In the distance are trees and hills. Opportunity Epictetus says, I look towards that opportunity with anticipation.

Stand Tall

In trying to please other people, we find ourselves misdirected toward what lies outside our sphere of influence. In doing so we lose our hold on our life's purpose. Don't surrender your mind. Why give your mind over to any person who may influence you? Think twice before you give up your own mind to someone who may revile you, leaving you confused and upset. Let others behave as they will that is not within your control. Do not consent to be hurt and you will not be hurt. This is a choice in which one has control over.

When considering the future, remember that all situations unfold as they do regardless of how we feel about them. Our hopes and fears sway us, not the events themselves. Do not sit around speculating about the possible inconvenience, problems or dangers. As long as reason leads the way, you are safe.

What kind of person do you want to be? Regardless of what others say, be careful with whom you associate with. Do not be afraid of verbal abuse or criticism. Only the morally weak feel compelled to defend or explain themselves to others. Let your actions, speak for themselves. While the behavior of other people is dictated by what is going on around them, hold yourself to a higher standard. Once you have deliberated and determined that a course of action is wise, never discredit your judgment. Stand squarely behind your decisions.

Reality

For reasons I will not say, weekends are especially difficult for me. Sundays appear to be the worse. I know this. I am addressing it. I read a lot and the season of genealogy research will once again be upon us as the weather turns to spring. Part of what I read is academic. Who am I kidding, everything I read falls under academic. If I feel low in mood, I address the mood by academics. Read, Learn, Write and sort out the feeling. What I have discovered is I approach things more indifferently and not emotionally. It is what it is. I should probably say, it is the philosophical way of approaching everyday life. If I remove the emotion, I feel no pain. Epictetus is to thank for my change in attitude. His readings are insightful, logical, and clear the way for me to look at reality as it is.

Epictetus believed that for good or ill, life and nature are governed by laws that we can't change. The quicker we accept this concept, the more tranquil, one will be. It is within our control not to be disappointed by our desires if we deal with them according to facts rather than by emotion. Understand what freedom really is and how it is achieved. Freedom isn't the right or ability to do whatever you please. Freedom comes from understanding the limits of our own power and the natural limits set in place by divine providence. By accepting life's limits and inevitabilities and working with them instead of fighting them, we become free.

Other people's views and troubles can be contagious. Do not sabotage yourself by adopting negative, unproductive attitudes through associations with others. Do not allow anyone to pull you down thus give your power away. I can state several occasions where I gave my power away and to some extent, I still do. However, as I continue my journey through spirituality, I have become more aware, less fearful and place as much distance emotionally as well as physically from those who are negative.

Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control. Authentic happiness is always independent of external conditions. Vigilantly practice indifference to external conditions. Happiness can only be found within. Stop aspiring to be anyone other than yourself.

Virtue, Happiness, Effectiveness

I have taking time to enjoy my readings from Epictetus. Reading this Classical Manual on The Art of Living has been spiritually moving for me. Life has been chaotic this week. I am doing double time on my studies so I can take the final one week early. I have been taking care of my caseload of patients, teaching classes, working on three separate projects at work, in addition to preparing myself to teach on April 12th to twenty-five 13 and 14 year olds on Addiction at a Charter school. I will have my grandsons for the weekend and plan a Dave & Busters day. My younger grandson wants to bake cookies, while the older grandson wants spaghetti. In twelve days I will be in Europe for ten days.

Getting back to Epictetus, his readings are truly inspirational that I have begun to use them at work. Some of things, he talks about are not to demand or expect that events happen as you would wish them to. Accept events as they actually happen. That way peace is possible.

Nothing truly stops you. Nothing truly holds you back. For your own will is always within your control. Every difficulty in life presents us with an opportunity to turn inward and to invoke our own submerged inner resources. We all have them. We just do not recognize them. If you are meant to read, be a reader. If you are meant to write, be a writer.

Nothing can be taken away from us. There is nothing to lose. The important thing is to take great care with what you have while the world lets you have it. The surest sign of a higher life is serenity. Moral progress results in freedom from inner turmoil.

Spiritual progress requires us to highlight what is essential and to disregard everything else as trivial pursuits unworthy of our attention. Do not be concerned with other people's impressions of you. They are dazzled and deluded by appearances. Stick with your purpose. This alone will strengthen your will. Refrain from trying to win other people's approval and admiration. You are taking a higher road.

Journey to Self Discovery

There is one fundamental rule to learn in life and that is to distinguish between what you can and cannot control. This is the only way to seek inner peace. The things within our control are at our disposal. We only need to take the time to look within to discover them. The things outside our control are weak, dependent, or determined by the whims and actions of others. It is our attempt at trying to control what is beyond our control that creates a person filled with anxiety, frustration and fault finding.

No one can hurt you without your permission. Live by your own principles even if that means postponing things for now. Circumstances do not rise to meet our expectations. Events happen as they do. People behave as they are. Embrace what you actually get. Open your eyes and see things for what they really are, thereby sparing yourself the pain of false attachments. What really frightens us is not the external events which occur, but how we interpretate them. things and people are not what we wish them to be nor what they seem to be. They are what they are.

Small minded people habitually reproach others for their own misfortunes. Average people reproach themselves. Those who are dedicated to a life of wisdom understand that the impulse to blame something or someone is foolishness.

It Just Is

This is my midterm treat to self. Have you ever just walked the aisles in a book store and became engrossed in the many selections, and before you know it, a few hours have passed? I spent a lot of time in the Christian aisle and every book I picked up had some reference to a fearful God. I believe in God, but my God is loving and does not punish. I have been on this spiritual journey trying to find some inner peace. I ended up in the Philosophy section, then the psychology section. I discovered a book from the philosopher, Epictetus who lived in Rome, but was exiled by the Emperor Domitian. Some of his teachings are inspirational such as "Take a Stand", or "Wisdom is Revealed by Action not Talk". There are other teachings such as "The Soul Crys" (that is how the book spells cries) and "Stay the Course, in Good Weather or Bad". The second book is more practical about how one views real life. Godiva chocolate is just good for the soul, especially with whipped cream. Besides all that I noticed the 3/4 moon in the middle of the afternoon. The power of the universe amazes me. There it is high up in a blue sky in the middle of the day, the moon. I find myself always looking up towards the heavens, whether it be the stars at night or the early sunrise. The power of the universe is a gift. It cannot be controlled by man nor beast. It just is.