She helps me to cope. Such a large order for such a small person. She helps me to live with the loss of another little girl and her father. She is the sunshine in a sometimes dark world. Every other week I visit her and I hold her in my arms and I talk to her and kiss her and watch her look into my eyes and smile. She is beautiful and sweet. A few short hours with her and my world is brighter. Aubree will never replace Ava however she lessens the pain. I will remain in Ava's life as much as her mother permits other than that she is kept tucked closely in my heart.
My visit with Josh today was good timing as his brother called me while at Josh's house and the two brothers had a good conversation. I expected to see another son and a couple of grandsons today however the call never came. I am sure there is a good excuse.
I went to see Les Miserables in New York yesterday which was a birthday gift from my husband. It was a wonderful day. It has been a long time since I had such a peaceful and happy birthday. We took the train into New York. Grabbed a taxi. We had lunch in a Celtic pub before going to the theater. The play was wonderful. We had great seats which were seven rows from the stage in the center. When we came out of the theater, it was snowing and we walked through the snow to the train station came back to the area and had dinner at a Mexican restaurant.
Tomorrow begins another work week. I have to teach a class Wednesday night and attend a trauma training Thursday. Next weekend I will be the counselor on site which I do every 8th weekend and believe me that 8 week rotation comes around fast. The Monday after the weekend I generally crash. Daily living is not easy but it is never boring.
My plan for the evening is to make a cup of green tea, have an apple turnover with that tea and watch War and Remembrance.