I am not sure I will be able to express this feeling correctly however I am going to give it a try. I suppose the short story is I am at peace within and I believe I found this peace because adversity taught me to live and I suppose I am doing exactly that. Bill and I took the ferry over to Lewes from Cape May. The 1.5 hours cruise was so relaxing that I actually fell asleep on the top deck. I watched the seagulls follow the back of the boat. I watched the dolphins swim along the side. I looked out over the water to the seawall built with a zigzag shape and a lighthouse at its end only approachable via boat not land. I felt the sun on my face and the breeze through my hair. I heard the waves lap against the boat, its soothing rocking sound drifted me off to sleep.
In Lewes we explored the historic seaside town, ate the best cheeseburger at Kindle's Café then drove along the ocean through various seashore towns until we arrived at Ocean City Maryland. We made small stops here and there and on our way back to Lewes we stopped at Irish Eyes for a quick drink and a crab filled pretzel before we drove back to the ferry to cross back over to Cape May where we live.
Have you ever experienced a sunset while out on a boat in the bay? Magical.
I have always loved to travel and experience the new things around me however I never fully embraced the experience until I went threw hell and back, from a dark place of depression to the light of sunshine within my soul. It may sound strange but I am grateful. I really embrace every part of my life these days and I have a feeling of peace and acceptance within my heart I never thought I would have. When a coworker told me I was leveled headed last week, my first reaction was a laugh followed by "who me"? Then, I thought about it for a moment and I believe what I am displaying to those around me is the peace and acceptance I feel inside. Nothing is that deep when you have experienced the type of adversity I experienced. I rarely get upset these days. Of course life is hard at times however it is not that deep. I really do not care what people think about me. What folks may say or do does not impact me.
There are even nights when I do not want the day to end so I stay up to read or write. I want time to slow down because it feels that good.