Is a title I do not cherish. As a matter of fact, I cannot seem to get it right. I am either over involved or not involved enough. I never know where I stand. One moment I am loved and the next moment I am hated. I will never be first because blood family will forever supersede me. Then there are the grandchildren. That is another story.
I wish I had a daughter. I had always wanted to have a daughter. I love my sons but a daughter would have been an allied. Someone who had my back. Someone who would be there for me. Someone who could relate. Shop with. Get my nails done with. Someone who would ask for my advice. Someone who would be there for me in old age.
Forever feeling like I am on the outside looking in. Feeling I want to be a part of but held at arm's length.