Yapping Attack Dog

Is what one writer called a fellow writer.

Being that the "Yapping Attack Dog" is my cousin, I thought those of you out there can read this January Drama yourselves.

If you have an opinion, please leave me a comment.

I do not think "name-calling" and/or "insult-throwing" is an alluring feature in any writer.

Because

I did not include my niece Chrissy in my "Tag it" game and because my sister thinks I could have chosen a better picture then the one I tagged her with. Here's to you. "Spill it Chris" and I hope this photo of you is more acceptable "Marianne"

Tag It

Wasn't it great of Karin to tag me? Now I have to expose the inside of my purse to the entire Blogging World. Yeah, she knows I faithfully read her blog everyday and yeah, she happens to be married to my Extremely Good Looking California Cousin John. So here it goes Karin just for you and of course everyone else..........

Because I am lovingly called the "Boring Sister" who is basically a prude when it comes to anything called "Fun" because I fail miserably in the "Be Hip" world of fashion, tattoos or Brazilian Bikini Waxes, I decided last May to trade in my classic black leather hand-bag for something a little less "classic" and a little more "not me". So I went to Kohls and bought myself a metallic gold hand-bag which I have faithfully used each and every day since then.

Did I mention I also bought the sandals to match?

Yes, I decided to throw caution in the wind and live a little. So what exactly did I find in this hand-bag four months later?

Well, let's take a look inside.

I have some sort of "white and green" zippered case that once was used to store shower/bath miniature shampoo and conditioner sets that you buy someone as a gift. This case contains the following; a checkbook, two expired bank cards, one bank card that is not expired, an optical receipt for glasses I just ordered, Kohls receipt, one postage stamp and one Triaminic thin strip. In the actual purse itself, I have one 2006-2007 planner, a receipt for car repairs, one pair of sunglasses, Back-pack Buddies Antibacterial Wipes, one hair brush, one comb, Dramamine container with a half of pill, hair tie, hair clip, bronzer, ATM receipt, old tube of mascara, pen, spare car key, my watch, Blistex Sunscreen Balm, four tubes of lipstick in the following colors; topaz, sugar, spicy and one that looks like a dark pink but is so old the label has faded, a few coupons , two advil and a ton of change.

Now it is my turn to do the tagging. Are you reading this Pam, Wife of Dingus and Kristi? Oh, and you too Marianne and Trish.................................

Spill It Ladies!!!!!

Take It To The Complaint Department

I call it the "Battle of the Fuzz" and I do not mean that it any nice and/or sexual term. (Marianne)

It is the daily fight I have with the bathroom sink each and every morning AFTER Bill shaves that stuff called HAIR off his face.

The FUZZ finds it way into every nook and cranny in and around the sink, faucet, vanity, tile on the wall and every toiletry item in its reach.

And each time I try to clean it up with my handy Clorox wipes, it manages to dodge me.

When I wipe the sink, it gets on the faucet. When I wipe the faucet, it gets on the wall behind the faucet. When I wipe the wall, it gets on the tile. When I wipe the tile, it gets on the vanity. When I wipe the vanity, it somehow manages to get on every lotion, brush, blush, ect. on that vanity.

If I did not know better I would swear it had a life of its own and purposely jumps out of the way while laughing the entire time as to make a complete and utter fool of me. I know you are playing games FUZZ.

The joys of living with a male and to think I actually lived with four of them at one time.

Did I mention how much fun it was to clean the toilet? That's an entire story in itself.

Summer's Last Hoorah

Replay TV

Is what I call Shaun each time he and his little brother watch Star Wars. Not only do they watch it often, (at least once every weekend) Shaun finds it necessary to give everyone in the room a play by play of the action we all just saw for ourselves.
If you are wondering, the hairy monster sitting next to them is Bill.

Did I Tell You........................

I fine people amazing. Sometimes it is just fun to watch and listen to what goes on around you. Like when I went to the salon to have my hair done. Not only did I discover that Roxborough was a predominately Catholic neighborhood but I found out every other female is named Mary. Just in the salon itself, there was Mary Jane, Mary Beth and Mary Frances. So either every other female was named after the Blessed Mother or every other mother in Roxborough likes the name Mary.

And in case you have forgotten, my mother was born here and she is Mary.

Oh and so was her grandmother named Mary.

Then there is Aunt Nana's daughter who is Mary.

Did I mention my great-grandfather had a sister Mary?

And yes they were all born here in Manayunk/Roxborough.

Not very creative here when the time came to name their daughters.


But probably the funniest part of my hair experience was when a woman walked into the salon and announced "If anyone is interested, I put my mother up for sale on e-bay. She called me so much today, she is on my last nerve."

I wonder if her mother was named Mary?

Then Joe (the guy who does my hair) and I got into a conversation about going to Catholic school at a time when nuns taught in the schools. He admitted to getting in trouble in school and that his eighth grade nun was called "Pig" The mature person that I am, I almost fell out of the chair in laughter. Not really a good idea when the guy standing behind you is holding a pair of scissors over your head. I also remember the days when nuns were the majority in Catholic school and I recalled a nun I had in eighth grade who was especially tough on the boys. She was called Tank.

And they say the nuns were cruel.

When the song "Let's get this party started" by the singer "Pink" played, we began to dispute what words she sang in the song. I insisted she was singing "I am coming out" while he insisted she was singing "I am coming up". He called his wife to have her look up the words. Can you believe this guy actually called his wife to prove me wrong. And regretfully I was wrong and he was right and this just enforced his "already" swollen head to grow even larger as to nearly explode on his shoulders.

This guy is as interesting as the Billy Idol hair on his head.

I wonder if his wife is named Mary.

Un-Natural Selection

"Mom Mom, come here. Come here."

"What is it Shaun?" (as he drags me by the hand to the side of the house)

"Kill it. It's a spider and he is right there." ( he points to a cable wire attached to the side of the house)

"Kill it, Mom Mom before he bites a hole in the wire."

"No Shaun, his teeth are not big enough to bite a hole in the wire besides he is a nice spider. He is tan and has long legs and he will eat all the bad mosquitoes."

"A nice spider, Mom Mom?" (he looks at me just a little bit bewildered)

"Yes he is nice but if you ever see a black spider do not touch it because they bite."



ABOUT TWO HOURS LATER WHILE SITTING ON THE FRONT PORCH



"Look Shaun, it is a black spider. He shot a web from the railing to the hanging flower pot."

(Shaun stands on a chair to seek a closer look at the spider crawling over the flower pot onto the stem of a flower)

"Now that's a bad spider" ( I take aim and squirt the spider and his web as he falls victim to my garden hose)

Insert Foot Into Mouth

Sometimes I just do not say the best things in a time of stress. Take for instance a suggestion I made the the other day to Bill because he was totally sick with worry over his mother.

"Bill, why don't you turn on that show you like to watch about those people digging up skulls?"

I realize what I said and try to cover it up quickly.

"I mean, you know that show called Ancestors."

Not exactly the thing you suggest to a man whose mother is sick with cancer.

But then he does not always say the right things either. He told me the other day that he suggested to his father that he (his father) should ask Kenny (his brother) to get his mother some pot to help with the side-effects of chemo. Now, did he just tell his father that his brother not only knew where to buy pot but that he (his brother) probably smoked a joint on occasion?

And do you know what came across my mind as he told me all this? I envisioned his seventy-two year old mother sitting on her favorite recliner in her living room smoking a joint as the parish priest or visiting nurse comes by.

Then it occurred to me that we could be flying down to Florida to post bail for all three. His brother for dealing. His father for buying. His mother for using.

Let's stick to prescription drugs.

Change In Direction

I was going to write something to commemorate the 9/11 anniversary but with all the sadness lately I thought it more appropriate to commemorate our future and what living life is all about as seen here when Shaun placed his towel around his shivering little brother Nikolas to keep him warm after they got out of the pool.

Precious Moments

One of the enjoyments of being a MOM MOM is having the opportunity to sit back and watch as your little five year old grandson follows then closely examines a bug as he does seen here in the garden.

There are two things I tell him when he is bug hunting. First, it is not nice to crush the bug between the fingers. Second, never ever ever ever bring the bug you are examining into the house.

300 Million Assholes Strong

The end of that sentence read "White House Gift Shop."

This is actually a website. "Seriously". I happen to come across it when I was checking to see if our scheduled flight down to Florida was still on time because of "Ernesto". Of course, when I saw the title, I was compelled to view the website and I must say I do not shock easy but this shocked me.

So whatever your political views, the website sells some fascinating stuff if you are "not in favor of this administration". But, I warn you, it is the most American-bashing website that I have seen in a long time and I am surprised it has not been shut down by the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security or all of the above. As a matter of fact, I would not be surprised if my "ever-loving patriotic" grandparents did decide to come down from their heavenly perch and close them down themselves. It is that bad. You can purchase any variety of items such as "strong fitting thongs for men". (I am not kidding) Though, I have to wonder why they need to label them "strong fitting". I guess that is to carry that heavy package some may struggle to tote around on a daily basis. Other selling Asshole items are T-shirts, BBQ aprons, Tote bags, buttons and bumper stickers all in that Bush Hater motif.

I know what you are thinking. (Marianne) Who cares? Maybe someone. Maybe no one. But, I am always amazed on what you can find on the internet. I mean where else can you read the "unthinkable" but in the comfort of your home in front of a computer screen with your morning java. It is like you never have to leave the room to see what the outside world is doing.