Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Personality Test

Harmony-seeking Idealists are characterized by a complex personality and an abundance of thoughts and feelings. They are warm-hearted persons by nature. They are sympathetic and understanding. Harmony-seeking Idealists expect a lot of themselves and of others. They have a strong understanding of human nature and are often very good judges of character.
But they are mostly reserved and confide their thoughts and feelings to very few people they trust. They are deeply hurt by rejection or criticism. Harmony-seeking Idealists find conflict situations unpleasant and prefer harmonious relationships. However, if reaching a certain target is very important to them they can assert themselves with a doggedness bordering on obstinacy.

Harmony-seeking Idealists have a lively fantasy, often an almost clairvoyant intuition and are often very creative. Once they have tackled a project, they do everything in their power to achieve their goals. In everyday life, they often prove to be excellent problem solvers. They like to get to the root of things and have a natural curiosity and a thirst for knowledge. At the same time, they are practically oriented, well organized and in a position to tackle complex situations in a structured and carefully considered manner. When they concentrate on something, they do so one hundred percent - they often become so immersed in a task that they forget everything else around them. That is the secret of their often very large professional success.

I must admit this is right on the money.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Actual Pictures of the Week

 Banana Bread

 Never received a thank you from a dentist until now.

 Night with friends.

 Sister's 50th birthday party.

The females in my life.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Wow. It Worked.

Could not upload pictures through explorer so I switched over to Firefox.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

A Week in the Life

I tried to upload this week in pictures without success. I am not sure if I am having a problem with my computer or the site or maybe both. Anyway, the pictures will have to wait.

It has been a busy week. Work. Eye Doctor. Dentist. Eye Doctor. Eye Doctor and Eye Doctor. School. Joshua's Birthday Celebration followed by Marianne's Birthday Celebration followed by a Friends' Get-To-gather.

My job is challenging and never boring. I thought I worked hard in the lab. The lab cannot compare to Therapy. I make an effort to not work overtime. I end up working overtime every time.

Nine days ago I scratched my cornea with mascara. Since the accident, I have been on two different antibiotics and steroids. Four eye appointments later the abrasion is scarring instead of healing so I was sent via emergency to a cornea specialist Friday night. Two days later, the eye still hurts and is still sensitive to light. For the first time since the accident I am considering taking off from work tomorrow.

I am not fond of the dentist but I am fond of how my teeth feel after a cleaning.

I started classes at Bryn Mawr College Friday for Trauma Informed Practice. I should be certified in ten weeks.

Joshua spent the weekend with us and since I will be on-call/on-site next weekend (his actual birthday) we took Josh and Lynee out for lunch and sang Happy Birthday at our home.

That same night, we went to my sister's 50th Birthday party.

After my sister's birthday party, we met up with some childhood friends of mine for a post holiday celebration at Ashburner Inn.

Hopefully, pictures will follow.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

All Over The Place and Counting

I slept a lot yesterday. I also continued with the nightmares. The nightmares came back around the New Year and I do not know what triggered them. Even when I was away in Jim Thorpe, the nightmares came as I slept. The nightmares throw me off balance and I never feel right during the day. This morning I tried to push off the uncomfortable feelings by baking banana bread from scratch. I got out the flour, sugar, baking power, lemon juice, eggs, butter, salt and ripe bananas from my freezer and got down to work. Two loaves are in the freezer and one loaf is on the counter top in the kitchen. When the bananas ripen, I freeze them so I can use them later in cooking. I also have a freezer full of berries of all sorts to be used the same way.

Bill went down to the house in Roxborough to make some repairs before he grocery shopped. I still have some problems with the light though my eye feels a lot better today. I never had a scratched cornea before and I hope I never have another one. Out of everything, the photosensitivity to light is the worse.

Laundry is done. Filets are defrosting for dinner. Baking is complete. I need to occupy my mind for the rest of the day. I started a new book yesterday and read several chapters. I may read more today. I have classes beginning next Friday at Bryn Mawr College for Trauma Informed Care. My place of employment approved my attendance for next ten weeks and will pay me for being off on the Fridays to complete the course. I do not know why I did not pay the tuition yet. I need to pay it tomorrow. There is a conference April 9th in Baltimore Maryland. I will ask my mom if she wants to go on a road trip to keep me company. I can't ask Bill to take off because he will be taking off two weeks beginning the 15th of that month for Ireland.

God, I feel so anxious.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Perfect Storm

Try as I may, the New Year has brought increased feelings of anxiety and fear then add some feelings of loss and a perfect internal storm is brewing. I do not like the feelings of a perfect storm. I wish I were talking about the scratched cornea or the clutched jaw pain. I am not. I am talking about the emotional turmoil. Do not miss-understand  for I get up everyday and go to work and work long long hours before I come home and go about the domestic, mother and grandmother duties. I am forever available to everyone. It is in the deep recesses of my mind and heart that the storm brews. It is as though I am at the verge of a loss of self-control but self-control I keep intact.  It takes so much energy to keep it altogether. It is exhausting. I worry as a mother. I cannot even allow myself to think about the magnitude of the situation or allow myself to feel the loss as a grandmother. Then, there are the questions and self-doubt. When did I become unworthy or untrusted or doubt my own integrity after a lifetime of total and complete responsibility?  I can't beat myself up. I won't beat myself up. I do beat myself up and I write in riddles and in vague terms as to express my deep inner thoughts and feelings without outwardly given away my meaning or intention. I have achieved so much in my life and at the same time I have lost so much. I do not want my granddaughter to ever think I did not love her or miss her or want to be with her. It was never my choice to be removed from her.

Wednesday, January 08, 2014

Today I miss my old life.

Sunday, January 05, 2014


 Henry Packer Mansion

 Asa Packer Mansion

 Town View

 Balcony off our room at the Jim Thorpe Inn

 Is this a ghost lurking on the staircase to the third floor of the Inn?
 Not a ghost

 To die for pulled turkey and white bean chili. Totally yum!
 Lemon blueberry cake

 Snow Angel
Bailey and coffee is the right libation after a day of walking around the town in the snow.

Saturday, January 04, 2014

Gift of Time

Our relationship works because we give each other the gift of time. Despite our demanding and often chaotic lifestyles with long days at our places of employment and/or family obligations, we plan time together. I call it self care. Time to care for each other enjoying the things we love together. We do not exchange material gifts for Christmas or birthdays. We give each other the gift of time. Spending a weekend together sight seeing, walking a trail, eating lunch or dinner out at a new place, staying at Bed & Breakfast type places, exploring, having a warm drink in a pub by the fire place is better than any piece of jewelry or a flat screen television. Our gift to each other for Christmas this year was a weekend in Jim Thorpe at the Jim Thorpe Inn.

Wednesday, January 01, 2014

A Thought For The New Year 2014

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away.
George Carlin