Anatomy Of A Family

Holiday time is once again upon us and to many folks it means the start of Holiday Family Time or lack thereof for some of us. Families get together for the sake of bringing some holiday cheer, to spread love and good fortune. This year for Bill & I it also means a wedding and all the things that go along with it.

His terminally ill mother flew up from Florida and for most of us it symbols probably the last trip up here. September's pathology report stated (I read it) that she has non-small cell lung carcinoma that has metastasized to her brain, bone, spleen and colon. Radiation Therapy has shrunk the brain tumors and thus has made her more aware and lucid. Chemotherapy has been shrinking the other tumors but in reality it is only a temporary measure because once cancer spreads in this fashion, it is a matter of treatment to control tumor growth not cure it. She was given three months to one year with treatment so I believe this will be her last trip up here and it will be for a joyous occasion because it is the long awaited wedding of her second eldest child in a family of five. Tonight begins a week of wedding festivities with the rehearsal dinner.

Originally the plan was to have a small rehearsal followed by a small dinner because it falls on the evening before the Thanksgiving Holiday and is being held on the busiest travel day of the year. That changed when a certain mother (groom) called me and asked me how many were coming to the dinner. When I told her ten she responded with "that is all"? The following day I called my future father-in-law to explain (as is my fashion) why the dinner was to be small. Not only was it for the reasons I stated above but with buying a new house, paying for a wedding and being out of work myself for five months, I did not want to spend a large sum on a rehearsal dinner. His response was "I should have told you that I was paying for it because I would like to have all the siblings invited in addition to my sister and her husband". He said "the more the merrier" in typical Irish fashion. But deep down inside I knew the real reason. His wife is ill and to have the entire family together for a happy celebratory meal was important. I relented and everyone received a telephone call and was invited which brings me to the topic of families and more importantly to the topic of how many interesting and very inventive excuses people can have just to avoid a "situation" in which they have no desire to be involved in.

Hockey Game. That is the last of the many excuses I have heard on "why" they cannot attend a family dinner. The daughter-in-law and the grandson of the woman who is terminally ill and most probably will not be around for many more dinners that include all her children and their families under one roof thinks it is more important to attend a Flyers Hockey Game. Honestly, I do not understand some people. Honestly, I could care less who does or does not show up for Bill & I. But let's have a little compassion for Molly.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a few of those excuses I have heard over the last month since it is Thanksgiving and all.

"I will be tired"
"Too much traffic"
"Working late that night"
"You live out of our way"
"I am sure I will not be able to get a babysitter"
and my very favorite....."I am going to a hockey game". PRICELESS REALLY.