Sum It Up

The week is almost at a close and this post may be my last for a while. I will be bringing my laptop to Vermont with the idea of downloading pictures from my camera but as far as Internet access, that is yet to be determined.

The rehearsal and the dinner that followed was a blast but that had a lot to do with my crazy sister (no one can make me laugh out loud more) who for most of the evening was known as simply "Matilda", the name given to her by yet the second craziest person in the room known as our "Minister". Let us just say that our Minister dragged out the rehearsal so long with his constant yapping and preaching that "Tilly" kept trying to keep him in line by her "Let's just move it along attitude". I have no idea why the Minister thought my sister Marianne's name was Matilda but since he called her that name we decided to let the name stick for the rest of the night. At one point when I referred to my sister as "Marianne", the Minister asked me (with a look of total confusion) "who is Marianne"? Another sister, perhaps?

Then there were the "two mothers" who walked and stood so close together during their part in the ceremony that it was as though those two were being married. At one point, Bill's father said "I hope we have a video camera at the ceremony just to capture those two together on tape".

Another funny sight that evening was looking down the dinner table and watching my Dad sip an Apple Martini. What ever happen to VO on the Rocks, Dad?

The dinner was held at Kildares, an Irish pub located on trendy Main Street in Manayunk. Of course being a pub with its Sport's Bar Atmosphere meant television and television meant that at least one of them would have hockey and so at one point Bill's brother Jerry removed himself from the party and placed his ass with direct access to view the game or (maybe he was just trying to get a glimpse of his wife and son ). You remember the two family members who have their family priorities in order? So what if the mother-in-law/grandmother is dying, the hockey game is so much more important...

Ok so I am a bitch, a self-righteous one at that. But as it has been stated numerous times before "Writing is the best revenge". So if I cannot say what I think to the person's face involved (without causing a public scene and subsequent family outrage over that public display of family disloyalty) then at least I can use the power of the written word and to this I am extremely grateful.

There were others who did not make it to the family dinner but their reasons were justified. (as per defined by me) Bill's sister Joan and her husband got stuck in the middle of the Nor'easter as they drove up from North Carolina. The same thing happened to his Aunt Sue as she drove up from Florida. My brother Michael and my Uncle Jack are not expected in until Friday. Michael is driving from Tennessee. Uncle Jack is flying in from Texas. On the way to the dinner, Nikolas threw up in the car. Not once did he throw up but three times. Of course, Shaun had to turn around and go home.

Then there were those who were feeling pretty "punky" but made the effort anyway. Bill's mom who flew up from Florida and who attended not only the rehearsal but the dinner itself. A woman who is clearly unstable on her own two feet. Who looks pale and drawn and tired and wore a wig because she is bald from chemo. My son Joseph who attends school full time while he holds down a full time job. He was visibly exhausted with a sore throat and fever but he took Tylenol and made it through the night even though we offered to drive him home early if he could not make it through the evening.

As I write this post I am reminded of what I wrote on "Our Family History, A Journey Into The Past" about those types of family members we all have. Here is that paragraph.

I have always considered my family as your everyday typical ordinary family. We do the same things other families do. We celebrate birthdays and weddings. We attend graduations and funerals. We laugh together. We cry together. We even fight together. We have the givers and the takers. We have the devoted caretakers. We have the too serious and the too sensitive. We have those with the sense of humors. We have the practical jokers. Some act like victims. Some act like heroes. We have the eccentric. We have the dramatic. But, this is who we are and who we are today is a direct result on where we came from.

So in Modern Day Psychological terms we can just blame all our faults on our parents who then in return can blame their parents and so on and so on......................................

But then came Thanksgiving Day and all was merry. I really mean it when I say merry. And I really mean merry as in Norman Rockefeller merry. We had a wonderful dinner at my sister's house. I brought the ham. She made the turkey and everything else. (sounds good to me) I enjoyed the company of my parents and nieces and all those other people (from the lonely heart's club) my sister always includes. Food was delicious. Company was fun. Then off to the Cannon side of the family across the river and through the woods to the far "opposite" side of town.

Since I have the domestic skills of a headless squirrel I did not take anything baked, cooked or even close to that to Jerry and Doreen's house. (yes, the hockey gang folks) I brought them the closest thing to domestic that I ever get, a Lenox ornament. I have learned over the years that keeping a supply of Housewarming gifts in one's hallway closet comes in handy when one is invited to an event but does not have the time to purchase a last minute item to take. I also keep a handy supply of gift bags, wrapping paper and cards too.

The entire sibling clan of Bill's parents were all together in one room and when I sat there with them it occurred to me that in a few short days I will have become one of them. Molly seem a little better in the mentally, spiritually and physically sense of the word. I know it was a happy occasion for her and she is looking very forward to the wedding but I sensed a certain sadness in her so I sat next to her and held her hand and told her how happy I was to have her in my life. I told her I loved her and she was a wonderful role model because although she has faced so much pain in the last six months, she came through as a trooper. I strongly believe in the will to live and to see this particular son married has given her the fight. But what will happen after she sees that son get married? Her health is so fragile. I am afraid to think it let alone say it but I do not think she will be with us this time next year. As a matter of fact after seeing her these two days, I do not think she will even be here next spring.

And then I must eat crow as it is only fair to do so because after concluding in my mind that Doreen was probably a cold uncaring individual, she goes and rips that mental conclusion right out from under me by giving us a most thoughtful and caring gift. It is a family genealogy tree, something as close to our hearts as anything else because both Bill & I are avid genealogists. Then to add sugar on the wound, she gives us a gift certificate as a Housewarming gift. Then tells us that by no means is this our wedding gift.

Crow is hard to eat and not very tasteful. But what must be done must be done.