Day One

Why is it when you know you need to be up at 330am, you can't fall asleep until 1am? Then you drag your weary ass body to the car with your carry-on bags, and head out to the airport parking, then get on a shuttle to the airline. In our case, it was American Airlines "something special in the air". Our flight was for 6am, we took off at 624am. The idea was to land in Miami at 845am and take the 930am connecting flight to the Key West airport.

This is where the story gets good. We get in at 9am at gate 80 and must walk or in our case RUN to gate 60 to get the connecting flight. Halfway to gate 60, my husband discovers he lost his wallet. He thinks he left it on the plane, so he hands me all the carry-on bags, and wobbles back to gate 80. (he has a metal hip and now is recovering from a fractured ankle that has plates and screws) I continue on my way to gate 60 with all these bags and pull my back out AGAIN. I make it to the counter to check-in, explain the situation with my husband, and was promptly told in a "I wanna punch you in the face way, are you getting on board or not, we are closing the gate". In my sweetest but killer voice, I say, "Let me call him and see where he is". They both looked at me and repeated, "we are closing the gate". I stand halfway in and halfway out dropping bags, trying to call Bill and I replied, "it is 915am, the plane leaves at 930am". I was greeted by another sweet comment like "that is why we are closing the gate because we want to leave at 930am". Now, let us review the circumstances here. I am a paying customer. I AM A PAYING CUSTOMER and you are telling me, I either miss the flight or board without the man with the wallet, with the ID, with the money. Hmmmm. Jackass.

Thankfully, here comes Bill hobbling down the steps as fast as his crippled ankle allows him with lost wallet in hand, and we just about make the flight. All I could think of at that moment was how rude the airline staff were and the letter of complaint I was going to write until I saw the size of the plane. Oh Dear Lord, they have all these people stuffed in a plane that has two seaters across and propellers right outside my window that look as if they belong on a sea plane. Now, the flight from Philadelphia to Miami was uneventful and we had plenty of leg room. In contrast, this plane with the propellers, I would be afraid to stand for fear the entire plane would tip over. OVER WATER. OVER WATER WITH SHARKS. The first thing I did was look for the exit sign and life jackets. NO LIFE JACKETS ON THIS PLANE WHICH IS FLYING OVER WATER. We could use the seat cushions as floating devices. Someone shoot me NOW. Anyway, I am a planner, so I scouted out which exit sign/door, I could get out with my floating device. Then, I figured out a plan in my head, how I was going to jump over and through people to get out FIRST. Hope the crippled husband could keep up. Each man/woman to his/her self, I thought. Then I thought about those sharks and that floating cushion, and I wondered if I floated quietly would they still take my legs off. Thank God, we were up in the air for 30 minutes. Can you imagine, what plans I could come up with if the flight were longer?

The ground of Key West was a welcomed sight. The taxi cab ride was short. The driver was a woman out of the hippie era who cursed at every bike rider on the way. Of course, our room was not ready, so we stored our bags and hit the beach and pool. I wondered where the Americans were since everyone seemed to be speaking a different language. Oh that's right, our economy sucks. Our dollar is worthless. I am sure those from other countries are getting more for their buck. I like to watch people. I think it is interesting how those who were in their sixth or seventh month of pregnancy were wearing bikinis. Finally, our room was ready. I planned on taking a nap, but my mind would not stop racing. How can a person feel sad in Key West? I am not normal in any sense of that word. The resort is nice. It is not the Atlantis, but it feels like I am in the Bahamas all the same.

I think it is funny how Bill brings up these weird subjects out of the blue. We spoke about pregnant women wearing bikinis and all of a sudden, we get into a discussion of how men can go without shirts and women can't. Bill said, "women should go without shirts because then it would be normal". OK? Until he added, men can go without shirts and women can't because it is how man keeps woman down. Oh for the love of God, did he really say that? Can't wait to see what adventures Day Two brings. Accidental drowning , perhaps?