Chatty Patty

Who would have thought that I would be living in a highrise condo out of the city and shopping at Whole Foods? Yeah. I can't believe it myself. I still feel like I am on vacation. I mean I have someone running to open the door to the building everytime I come and go. That is the man's job. Open and close doors for residents. I am starting to add a few decorative accents throughout the place. I am packing away most of the family photos. I am just keeping a few out of my grandkids and kids. I have three containers of Christmas decorations stored away. I have no intention of decorating for any holiday this year. Shaun and Trish have taken over the annual family Christmas Eve Open House. I was glad to hand it over to them after 33 years of doing it. Thanksgiving I hope to be away somewhere.

Most of family is now aware of my health issues. No news yet. But surgery is in my future. I know I need to schedule it but have not. Pain grows worse but it does not stop me from doing anything. I work long hours. I shop. I clean. I drink my wine. The thing is I am not afraid. I have no fear at all. 2011 will go down as the worst year of my life. I have dealt with a lot of adversity throughout my life and have gone through some very rough times, but all of that is nothing compared to what I had to face this year. So many losses in such a short time. So much emotional pain that the physical pain means nothing. I don't know. I have always tried my best. Sometimes, one's best is not good enough. I can't think about that now. I will think about that tomorrow.