Forgiveness

Does one need to forgive in order to move on in life? I am often asked this question and my answer may surprise you. I do not believe that one must forgive in order to move on despite what is written in many books or practiced in many programs, especially those of the 12 step variety. It is my belief that one must place the events in a box somewhere within their minds to move on. I call it "Letting Go". One can let go of a painful event without forgiveness and still move on. The trick is to "Let Go" and not repress emotions that may be painful. When we repress emotions, we become angry, resentful, jealous, depressed, stuck in the here and now as well as in the past. Worse yet, we become a victim. Feel it. Let it go. Move on.

I think many people get stuck in the past, because they think they must forgive first, before they can move on. Therefore, the forgiveness part keeps the struggle in the present. Who needs to have that sort of battlefield within their minds?

I am often told by others that they must "love themselves". What does that mean? Does it mean, one must place themselves and their well-being first? How does one love themselves? It is my belief that to love oneself, they must take care of the physical, emotional and spiritual self. Positive affirmations are a part of the solution. However, if one is not physically, emotionally and spiritually healthy, positive affirmations will not work for the long term.

Humans are great at justifying, rationalizing and over thinking situations. Something that is simple, we make complicated. There are no quick fixes in life, because as this site states, "it is about the journey". It is about managing everyday life, solving a problem, letting go and only then can we find a healthy mind.