Today

It is nice to sit on the balcony in the early morning with a cup of coffee, and listen to the birds sing their songs, the sun warm upon your face, and the memories that come and go within your mind.

I had a dream last night that I was standing over my brother's grave. I remember I was looking at his headstone, however he was standing beside me, as we watched the grave being dug up in preparation for another burial.

Sitting on the balcony brought back memories of the time of his death and how after he died in 1997, my life began to unravel piece by piece. My son began to have problems a year later. My marriage began to fall apart. There was no longer any satisfaction in being a Lab Supervisor. 1997 to 2005 were hard years. 2006 I remarried, went back to school, changed careers and started to move forward. There had been hills to climb, valleys to follow, bumps and bruises along the way. 2011 brought problems I never could have foreseen in a million years. Changes forced upon me. More tears fell than I ever thought possible. One foot in front of the other, I kept telling myself. I leaned on family and friends. I discovered who was there for me and who got lost on the wayside.

The other day, I believe I turned a corner. I decided I was no longer going to accept unacceptable behavior from anyone. I felt sick and tired. I had been to hell and back. My decision meant I would probably lose some people who I love, but in reality I had already lost them and never recognized it.

It is my time now.