Life Hangs in the Balance

I had another nightmare. This time it was 430 this morning. Bill woke me out of it then told me my mother posted on her FB wall that my uncle was bleeding out from his liver. I am not on FB.

Uncle Jack has had a tough year. He has been in and out of the hospital. I fear this time, he maybe dying. I had a long talk with my mother this morning. She is flying out to Southern California tomorrow morning. I hate that my mother is in so much pain. This is her second eldest brother. Her eldest brother, my uncle Bill died in 1996. I tried to make her laugh by talking about the hurricane and how it had the audacity to stall over the place I was to spend vacation. Not only did the hurricane stall but shifted backwards then moved 6 miles per hour. I told her if a plane lands, I will still be in New Orleans even if the hotel is gone. I made her laugh a little bit.

My mother is the oldest daughter but fourth child of my grandparents and she has been the backbone of our family since I was very small. When my grandparents needed help, it was my mother who took care of them. When my grandparents were sick, it was my mother who took care of them. When my grandparents died, it was my mother who made all the arrangements. When my uncle Bill came down with cancer, it was my mother who took care of him. When my grandmother and uncle died, it was my mother who was there beside them.

I think about the night my grandmother died after a two year fight with lymphoma and how I sat on one side of the bed as my mother sat on the other side of the bed. My grandmother died while holding the hands of her granddaughter and daughter. I am the second oldest grandchild, therefore I had my grandparents for my entire childhood and part of my adulthood. Grandpop died when I was 20 yrs old. Grandmom died when I was 30 yrs old.

I also had a relationship with my uncles because I lived with my grandparents as a baby then toddler and always spent a great deal of time at my grandparents' house even when my mother remarried. My uncles were single and spoiled me. I was called "cupcake, sweety pie" and told constantly how much I was loved. As an adult, I kept in contact with uncle Jack even when he moved to California then to Texas and back to California again.

When I wrote an article years ago for Laurel Hill's news letter, it was focused on my uncle Jack and his memories of growing up with the Prouds who once were caretakers of Laurel Hill.

If he passes, I will fly from New Orleans to California. My mother will be strong for everyone else but I know my mother and that mask of strength hides the hurt and pain. Someone needs to be there for her. I am very lucky to have the family I have. There are many of us and we know how to pull together in times of need.