It has not always been easy for him. As a matter of fact, it has been difficult. He has experienced the same losses as I, but never complains and is always filled with compassion and understanding. He has been a wonderful grandfather to my grandchildren, and whereas their biological grandfather has favored the eldest grandchild, because they share the same passion for sports, he has taken special care and time with the two younger grandchildren. He misses the little one as much as I. He takes special time with the second one, because unlike his older brother, the younger brother is not interested in sports, but in creating things. He likes board games and Lego's, breakfast at cracker barrel, walks in the parks and the computer. Bill spends that time with Nikolas. Just like he always took Ava out for Sunday breakfast and the playground.
Bill has been good to my kids though they have not always appreciated it.
I am not happy with the changes. I am not happy that he has been placed by some in the background. I hate to admit it, but it impacts my feelings towards certain people. It is as if I set up an emotional wall. My heart is in the right place, but I am human and get tired of the games and that is what they are to me, games. Thoughtless, inconsiderate games and the knowledge that you are good enough for some things and not good enough for other things. Christ. Is it that difficult to respond to a phone call or message? Say thank you? Call to say hello and not because you need something? Show compassion and understanding? Respect? I did not raise my kids that way. When they received a gift, they had to sit down, and write out a thank you card, before they could have the gift. At the very least, they called and said, thank you.
Eventually and with time and assistance, I will move away from these things. I never really understood the importance of boundaries until a few months ago. I am learning to set them and in the end, there will be some people left in my life and others gone from it. I have gotten to the point that I do not like the way things have been and I understand one person cannot facilitate a relationship. A relationship is between two or more people who have mutual respect and consideration. They do not have to like each other, but common consideration, manners and respect is necessary. This includes all the people in one's life, family, friends, coworkers. I will always love my children and grandchildren unconditionally. I will not be guilted into anything anymore. I have learned to be more aware of that along with manipulation and narcissism. I am not completely there, but I will be and when that happens, I will have no regrets. However, I cannot say that for others.
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