The Greatest Job

I never see the results. I always see the beginnings. I see them when they are sick both physically and emotionally. For the time, they spend with me, I see them blossom from the hopelessness and helplessness to the beginning of recovery. While they are with me, they are in treatment. When they walk out the door, their recovery journey begins.

This morning, I was greeted by one of my patients. He told me about a 12 step meeting he attended last night. (Outside speakers come to our inpatient facility) I was told the speaker was a patient of mine a year ago and for his first year anniversary, he came back to the place that helped him to begin the journey to recovery. He spoke about his counselor. How she would not allow his wife to pick him up or give him money to leave treatment. He spoke about his desire to leave treatment and his counselor ingrained in him that nothing changes unless you change it. He told the group his counselor's name was "Miss Pat". Then, he asked the crowd, if "Miss Pat" still worked here. I was told the crowd yelled, "Oh Yeah"! He asked if "Miss Pat" still kept it real. The crowd yelled back, "Oh Yeah"!

See, the patient who met me at the door this morning has been struggling. He has never completed a treatment. He has never stayed in treatment this long. Every day is a battle. Stay focused. It is not about the drug. The drug has been the solution. it is a detail. Focus on the behavior underneath the solution. I repeat the same things to him every blessed day. He refers to me as "she". He tells me I view the world differently than he. He glorifies the life style. He likes easy money, cars, clothes and still feels empty at the end of the day. I believe the speaker helped him more than I ever could. He gave him insight.

Now we are getting somewhere.

External factors verses internal factors.

Material things cannot replace the feelings of abandonment, loss or loneliness. Material things cannot make your mother love you. Material things cannot change the past or take away the hurt from molestation as a child. Material things cannot buy that girl or make her love you. As long as you look for inner peace in the outside world, peace will never be found. Inner peace comes from within. Peace comes from facing your fears instead of avoiding them. Peace comes from being honest instead of deceitful. Peace comes from accepting all parts of self instead of a few. Peace comes from understanding that it is not normal to be happy every day that sadness is normal. Peace comes from "you", not me, she or he.

The speaker asked the crowd if "Miss Pat" still kept it real. "She keeps it real alright", shouted the crowd. Sometimes, she keeps it painfully real.

I have the greatest job.