Excited

The flights are booked. Car is rented. We are leaving for Ireland on April 15th, my grandfather's birthday. How appropriate to leave for Ireland with my husband and eldest grandchild on the anniversary of my own grandfather's birthday whose Gallagher Roots are from Donegal. This trip has been on my "bucket list" for years. I researched my Gallagher, McCaffery/McCafferty, Cafferty, Boland ancestors (direct line) and now I will walk on the ground they walked on, see the country they saw and enjoy the culture, they knew. Lately, I have felt this very strong need to go and go soon. I am not sure what my internal motivation/drive is coming from though I am sure it has much too do with the current circumstances of my life and the realization of how short life can be and how it can change in a blink of an eye.

I wanted to go for Christmas but the short notice at work and the time needed to plan was too short. (Though I have been known to throw a vacation together quickly) I also wanted to talk to my son about it. I needed his OK. I needed to know it was OK for me to leave. Had he said otherwise, I would have not made the reservations. He was "thrilled" and gave his immediate "blessing". "Mom, I want you to go and have a good time. I will be OK. If I need anything, Dad can help me". He and I are going to do some Christmas shopping via computer this weekend. We have a list from her.

In the end, we will not spend Christmas but Easter in Ireland. I have not made hotel arrangements yet though I have been searching. We will fly into Dublin and we plan to spend one night in the city before we drive the three hours "West" to Donegal. In Donegal, I want to spend one or two nights in a castle. (My grandson's request) then I want to stay in a B&B and/or thatch cottage in County Mayo preferably in or around Ballina and/or Killala.  We will drive back to Dublin and spend another night in the city before we fly back home. A "must see" in Dublin is the National History Museum of Ireland and a quick meal and beer at the Guinness Brewery. Otherwise, it is all about seeing, being and living among the locals.

To answer my own question about the internal motivation, times are tough and things look bleak. Instead of falling into a dark hole, it is about grasping the light at the end of the dark tunnel. There is not a better way of fighting through the dark night then to grasp onto the hope of a promising future. In this way, I move forward. I know that if I do not move forward, my children, my grandchildren will have a difficult time moving forward. If I have learned anything over these past three years it is "my mood" directly "impacts" those closest to me. I have come to realize that in order for those I love to "be ok" and "to move forward", I must model that behavior. Despite any internal war and/or pain I might feel, I will not fall into some dark abyss because I do not want those I love to fall into the abyss. Our hardship has not destroyed us, We found a way to close ranks. We are coming out stronger than ever despite what anyone else thinks, feels or believes.

Maybe, there is a God and maybe that God is working through us.