Friday, July 25, 2014

Lies Lies Lies

Why did she tell me she wanted a divorce because she was unhappy after all these years and make a point of telling me she did not have a boyfriend? I wonder why people believe they can get away with lies because lies always catch up to the liars. (my opinion) I guess it is hard to admit you have had a boyfriend since January and by March decided it was time to leave your husband but stay until June before you actually move out. When someone behaves in this manner I am reminded by a statement I have heard others say. "Clean your own side of the street before you attempt to clean someone's else's side of the street". Once again, I took this person's side and believed what she told me? (Seems to be a terrible habit of mine lately) It never occurred to me that I was being lied to. Well. Fuck Me. I was lied to once again by someone whom I thought I had a close relationship. Live and Learn. Another chapter closed. This past year could be known as the year I did some personal housekeeping. I began to remove toxic people from my life whether they were family or friends. I began to take the blinders off and see people for what they truly were. It has been refreshing and liberating to say the least. I also began to appreciate the people who were supportive caring loving without conditions. It is amazing how confident one can become once they have started a personal inventory. My only concern with all these experiences is whether or not I will ever fully trust and/or allow anyone else close to me. I will be welcoming a new grandchild into my life this December. I wonder if my experiences will influence how I grandparent this new child? I wonder if I will give this child my entire heart or will I fear giving this child my entire heart because I will be afraid I could be hurt? 

Funny that I would write this and answer my own question in the meantime. I will love this grandchild as much as I love Shaun, Nikolas and Ava. That is who I am.

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