End of Summer

The summer flew by. I cannot believe it is September and before we know we will be closing up the shore house and preparing for the cold winter months. We spent every weekend but one at the shore. As a matter of fact, we are still down the shore and it is Tuesday. We will head back tomorrow morning and drive straight to work. 2015 season is paid in full. Next spring, we hope to replace the living room sofa and buy a grill for down here.

Being at the beach smelling the salt in the air and listening to the waves crash onto the shoreline has been really good for my family. We spent a lot of time together. We began to heal from the horrific few years we endured.We experienced horrific loss. Our lives changed forever. Everyday we try and endure. Everyday we pray for healing insight and peace of mind. Death, Divorce, Prison, and Loss of a special granddaughter crossed our path. There has been a lot of sadness, fear, tears and denial. Now we look forward to the birth of another granddaughter, new relationships. family closeness, careers, moves and especially hope. Hope is what I have held onto fiercely. Through all the darkness and sadness, I held onto hope, faith and God.

I also threw myself into work.
My professional life has been very successful.
My personal life is a tragic novel.
If I could chose, I would pick a successful personal life over a successful professional life. I would have my granddaughter back in my life. My son home. Addiction would have never hit my family and all the consequences that occurred as a result. I would have my sons, their wives and grandchildren visiting frequently. I would hear the sound of laughter through the hallways, the foot steps of tiny feet, the sweet sound of "Mom Mom" make popcorn, cut up the strawberries, let's dance, let's play.

I miss all of it.

Summer is coming to a fast close. Fall will be upon us. We will close the shore house at the end of October. I am grateful I had the opportunity to enjoy my grandsons this summer. I miss my granddaughter terribly. There is a hole in my heart which no one but her can close.