Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Sometimes She Shows Up in a Dream

I walked into the party and she looked at me with a look of  puzzlement. It was not long before the look of puzzlement turned into a shy smile I remembered all too well. The smile was proof she recognized me after all those years. She had the same facial expressions but these were on an older face not the younger face I remembered. Her mother passed by and instructed her to socialize with all her guests who were all there to celebrate her birthday.

A dream so clear I could see the color of her hair. God, I miss her so much. Writing this post has me crying and tears are rolling down my face. The last time I saw her was October 2013 when I bought her a Halloween costume. Sometimes this pain just grabs ahold of me and does not let go. I loved her. I still love her. She was a regular part of my life and I was a regular part of her life. I wonder if she ever thinks about me. If she ever misses me as I miss her. She will be 8 years old this year. She will make her First Holy Communion in May and I am going to miss it all. Sometimes the pain hurts so much I wonder if I will survive it.


Pam said...

Hi, long time no read. I'm back and am just catching up on your blog. I know, it's only been 7 years.

I've missed you. I'm sorry for your pain and your losses. I feel helpless because I have nothing to offer you, except prayer. I wish I could take it away.

For what it's worth, I'll be reading. Love, Pam

Patricia Marie said...

OMG Pam, how are you?

Pam said...

I'm good. I guess it's good. Good sometimes, and sometimes not. Okay, mostly good.

I'm blogging again. I need the outlet for the crazy life I live, and the fun and anxiety that comes with parenting 9 kids. I haven't posted any pictures so far, just writing, but I plan to.

Sending you hugs. :)

Patricia Marie said...

I am glad to see you back.