Friday, October 21, 2016

Depression, Suicide, Loss of Hope

I received a message today from a childhood friend who informed me another mutual childhood friend committed suicide yesterday. He apparently said "I have had enough". What did that mean and why?

Then, I began to remember when we were teenagers and how he first entered my life. He was friends with my older brother Michael and Michael and I had the same friends. Brown hair, brown eyes and not very tall. However, he had a presence about him that demanded notice. He drank a lot but I cannot say he had a problem with alcohol as we all probably drank more than we should have back in those days. I dated him for a very short time when I was about sixteen. He went into the Navy after he graduated from high school right after my own brother joined the Navy.

I remember going to his wedding. It was the best wedding and I remember how much fun we all had. I was already married to Joe and was the mother of three little boys under 5 years old. He married a girl who was a nurse. They had children. They moved into Winchester Park. I did not see him much after that except at house parties or weddings then funerals of some of our other friends.

Today, I felt sad. I received Donna's message right after I facilitated a group between 11a to 12p. Group discussion was about Depression and suicide and the importance of being medication compliant. I spoke about "Hope" being the light at a very dark and long tunnel and I told my group to hold on with both hands to the hope because the darkness will pass. Once group was over I looked down at my phone and read the message.

I have had friends die from various reasons but I believe I never had a friend commit suicide. Eddie died in an alcohol related car accident. Cheryl died of a heart attack. Danny died of liver disease. Frenchie died of lung cancer. Now, Al is gone too.

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