Happy 7th Birthday to my granddaughter.
I called to wish her a happy birthday. No response.
Bill dropped off the gifts. Door was closed in his face.
Then I received a follow up text.
We tried Ava.

Ava

 I picked up your birthday and grade school graduation cards today. I found myself standing in the aisle of my local CVS reading all the different cards for a granddaughter. It should not have been difficult picking a card but it was because I felt like I was buying a card for someone I did not know. You see, I have not seen you for several years. Yes. I periodically am in contact with your mom and she tells me little things about you from time to time. However, I have not seen you since you were about five years old. The last time you spent any real time with me was the summer of 2011 after a vacation with your cousins Shaun and Nikolas at Dutch Wonderland. You were four years old. Prior to that you spent most weekends at my house. 

Though you were removed from my life, I never forgot you. As a matter of fact, I think about you everyday. I do not grieve as I once did in the early days but I would be lying if I did not say there is a sadness within my heart I carry everyday. In my mind, you are still four years old. That is the memory I have. But you are not four years old anymore but a young lady nearly 14yrs old. I imagine you to be the sweet little girl I once knew but older. I do not know if we will ever reconnect in the future though I hope we do. But I would leave that decision up to others including yourself. So much life has been experienced and lived and there will be questions. Questions, I will answer to the best of my ability without hurting anyone in the process. Sometimes, decisions are made with the best intentions but still full short of the mark. I truly believe that some of the decisions that were made in the early years were made for you out of love and protection. Or at least I hope so. I will always love and I hope one day you seek me out.

Love Mom Mom

The Best Part of Being Her Grandmother

 

Collum and Ann Marie Gallagher McCaffery

 Married at St John the Baptist Catholic Church in 1928.

I Love You More Than Sunshine

 

It’s Been Awhile

 It has been a while since I posted. Truth be told, I was busy living life working, traveling and enjoying my family. Over the last two years, Bill and I traveled to Northern California and toured up and down the coast followed by a trip to Scotland with my two teenage grandsons, celebrated my 60th birthday in Aruba with my mom and sister, buried my biological father in South Carolina as well as my sister-in-law in Tennessee. My oldest grandchild graduated high school and went off to Millersville University. My second grandchild started high school. My youngest grandchild is in her third year of dance and soon to start Kindergarten. Of course, there was the pandemic that turned many worlds upside down. The upcoming presidential election in which I have been actively working for the Democratic Party. Many pictures were taken. I can’t promise that I will be back on here in a regular basis or that I will post those pictures. 

I wonder if I have been too harsh in my thinking. She could have been doing the best she could with an impossible situation. Maybe I should consider the entire picture? Maybe she felt as though she needed to protect her child? Maybe I am being selfish? Maybe I should just let it all go? I decided a long time ago I would not push the issue that I needed to come to grips with the decision. That I would wait by the sidelines with a hope that she will find her way back into my life. I guess I am human. Loss is something I must endure. 

It feels great to have a day off from work even though being off today means I am the counselor on site this weekend. I spent some time with Aubree last night and this morning I cleaned under my bed sorted out the upstairs hall closet and I want to clean the family room. The house cleaners take care of all the rooms in the house with the exception of the family room. When I hired the house cleaners last summer we were in the process of remodeling the family room. I may add this room and the additional bathroom in the bi-weekly cleaning.


I thought I take a break and write on the blog. I have not been writing like I use to. It is not as though I do not have things to say, it is a lack of time. I split my time between two houses here in Philadelphia and Cape May. I am still counseling fulltime, and teaching part-time. My days are pretty full even with someone cleaning my house and taking care of the landscaping. I do my own cleaning and gardening at the house in Cape May.