Betrayal
Betrayal is the breaking or violation of a presumptive contract, trust, or confidence that produces moral and psychological conflict within a relationship amongst individuals, between organizations or between individuals and organizations.
Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, complete love, or "mother's/father's love." Each area of expertise has a certain way of describing unconditional love, but most will agree that it is that type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. An example of this is a parent's love for their child; no matter a test score, a life changing decision, an argument, or a strong belief, the amount of love that remains between this bond is seen as unchanging and unconditional.
Conflict and Emotions
We like the quote by psychologist, John Gottman, “When you’re furious, you can’t be curious.” Conflict is all about emotions, and when a person is off balance emotionally it becomes extremely difficult to engage in constructive responses to conflict. You can lose sight of your objectives and become focused on how the other person has wronged you. Retaliatory responses kick in and you are no longer interested in solving the problem as much as punishing the other person.
Me
I am struggling with all of the above. I love unconditionally in all matters, but betrayal. Betrayal feels like a direct blow to my sense of self. Then, the conflict follows. If I feel as though someone has done me wrong after I have given several chances, and they are aware of the hurt it creates, I feel betrayed. Some of you reading this are probably thinking, "get over it already or that is not right". I am who I am whether someone agrees or not. When hurt, I shut down. It has been my defense mechanism since I was a small child. I have done a lot of work on that part of myself, and I took a chance allowing some people in only to be hurt again. I guess it is not a surprise that I put up the same defense mechanism. How or why I learned this way to protect myself, I do not know, but I have some idea. If you never have a voice. If you are always afraid. If you cannot trust. If you feel alone within yourself. If the little girl inside never grew up. If you seek validation. If you do not feel a part of. Defense mechanisms help you to survive, but with the survivor comes depression, anger and isolation.
I question everything. High intelligence has a double edge blade. No wonder they say, "ignorance is bliss". How I wish ignorance sometimes. I sit out on my balcony looking over at the hills and trees, listening to the sounds of the birds chirping, children playing and traffic rumbling, watching the hawks glide freely in the sky and I wish I could go with the wind far far away from my own mind, which never stops thinking. . How I wish for silence. How I wish someone could stop me from thinking. What I realize is the silence has to come from within not from without. I will never find my voice, let go of the fear, learn to trust, grow up or seek validation from the outside, because it is an inside job. I am shut down right now. I will put the mask in place to do my job, pretend to be and/or feel like someone I am not, and survive another day. That is all I can do for today.
Unconditional love is known as affection without any limitations. This term is sometimes associated with other terms such as true altruism, complete love, or "mother's/father's love." Each area of expertise has a certain way of describing unconditional love, but most will agree that it is that type of love which has no bounds and is unchanging. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast, unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. An example of this is a parent's love for their child; no matter a test score, a life changing decision, an argument, or a strong belief, the amount of love that remains between this bond is seen as unchanging and unconditional.
Conflict and Emotions
We like the quote by psychologist, John Gottman, “When you’re furious, you can’t be curious.” Conflict is all about emotions, and when a person is off balance emotionally it becomes extremely difficult to engage in constructive responses to conflict. You can lose sight of your objectives and become focused on how the other person has wronged you. Retaliatory responses kick in and you are no longer interested in solving the problem as much as punishing the other person.
Me
I am struggling with all of the above. I love unconditionally in all matters, but betrayal. Betrayal feels like a direct blow to my sense of self. Then, the conflict follows. If I feel as though someone has done me wrong after I have given several chances, and they are aware of the hurt it creates, I feel betrayed. Some of you reading this are probably thinking, "get over it already or that is not right". I am who I am whether someone agrees or not. When hurt, I shut down. It has been my defense mechanism since I was a small child. I have done a lot of work on that part of myself, and I took a chance allowing some people in only to be hurt again. I guess it is not a surprise that I put up the same defense mechanism. How or why I learned this way to protect myself, I do not know, but I have some idea. If you never have a voice. If you are always afraid. If you cannot trust. If you feel alone within yourself. If the little girl inside never grew up. If you seek validation. If you do not feel a part of. Defense mechanisms help you to survive, but with the survivor comes depression, anger and isolation.
I question everything. High intelligence has a double edge blade. No wonder they say, "ignorance is bliss". How I wish ignorance sometimes. I sit out on my balcony looking over at the hills and trees, listening to the sounds of the birds chirping, children playing and traffic rumbling, watching the hawks glide freely in the sky and I wish I could go with the wind far far away from my own mind, which never stops thinking. . How I wish for silence. How I wish someone could stop me from thinking. What I realize is the silence has to come from within not from without. I will never find my voice, let go of the fear, learn to trust, grow up or seek validation from the outside, because it is an inside job. I am shut down right now. I will put the mask in place to do my job, pretend to be and/or feel like someone I am not, and survive another day. That is all I can do for today.
No comments:
Post a Comment