Thoughts

I really like taking my dog on long early morning walks, The physical exercise is great not to mention the time to clear my thoughts and get in touch with my feelings. I love being a grandmother. I get so much joy out of spending time with my grandchildren. I do not see the older grandchildren as often as I would like. They are busy with school, sports and their friends. Next Saturday I will see the boys when I host a dinner for Shaun and Rita to celebrate their December 23rd wedding. It was one of the best Christmas gifts I could have received when they came over for Christmas and presented their marriage certificate. The dinner will be a simple affair for immediate family as per their request. Shaun and Rita are low keyed folks who do not want a lot of fuss.


Aubree spends a lot of time with me. She is still a preschooler so she is not yet involved in a host of activities. This past weekend we spent time together watching Moana, Sing, Trolls, reading Sleepy Time Bear and putting together Peppa Pig Puzzles. One of her favorite activities is playing dress up in princess costumes so when we watched Moana she was dressed as Moana,


I have had minimal contact with my brother Michael since the Christmas Day episode. I am not proud to say I have a difficult time forgiving and forgetting. I will probably eventually forgive but I know I will never forget just as I will never forget that the other family members on that group text remained silent. Silence speaks volumes. I really think I am getting to a point in my life that I have no desire to surround myself with people who are not in my corner. Loyalty means a lot to me.


On those long walks I often think of Ava, the grandchild I lost. I had the same relationship with Ava as I have with Aubree. Ava's loss has changed me. I fear losing Aubree even though I have no reason to have such fears.   


Joey's loss has changed me. I am more reserved and withdrawn. I do not sit around in a state of depression and I do associate with people but inside my heart I am somewhat closed off. I do not allow others inside. I keep most of my thoughts and feelings tucked away.


These are the things I think about on those long walks with my dog. I also think about my next travel adventure and whether or not I want to keep the shore house after this upcoming summer or sign it over to my son Shaun. The house is paid off but I have 5,000 dollars in yearly dues in the community and I often wonder if I rather spend that money on travel instead. The shore house has been a great weekend escape. But in reality I am not much of a beach person. I rather spend my time experiencing new sights and cultures. It is not a decision I need to make at this time. I do not even know if Shaun would be interested in taking over the house. It is an expense.


One of the places I want to travel to in the near future is London. I also want to travel back to Ireland rent a car and go up to Belfast and take the ferry over to Scotland. I am also looking into a trip to Miami renting a car and seeing the everglades and perhaps go to Key Largo. I have already seen Key West. That was a fun trip.


I have plans. I am currently researching my options. I never travel to a place until I do my research first. That being said, it is Super Bowl Sunday. Go Eagles!