Friday

Mothers of adult children are in an unique position. There comes a moment when you witness your son leave the boy behind and embrace the man he has become. I felt like I experienced that moment with one of my sons this past week when I saw him rise up and take the wheel of being responsible for his own life. The infant that I carried. The preschooler whom I held hands. The grade-schooler who let my hand go. The high-schooler who I watched become the social butterfly.

I held on. I let go. I held on again. I can now let go because he has taken control of his future, his life, despite consequences. It is an amazing feeling to witness this transformation. As a mother of adult children, I still see the infant, the baby, the little boy and I can be blind to the man before me. I have three sons and up to this point, I had let two of the three go. This morning, I have let go of all three. Letting go does not mean I do not love them or support them. It simply means that I have let go of the control. It is a sense of emotional freedom. I love you and I understand it is your life, your decisions, your choices, your responsibility.

In other news;
Jack is fired. Evan is hired.

And this one is on thin ice.

Bill's Art Work

 

This image was licensed by the TV show Man Caves to be a wallpaper in one of their Man Cave designs. It will be a Wildwood themed room for a former Philadelphia Eagle.
www.billcannon.net

His Mother

She sat on the floor in the corner of the room with her head leaning on the bureau as the tears fell. She felt out of control and desperation overcame her before she got on her knees and began begging and pleading to an unknown entity of her childhood faith. She did not care what happened to her as long as he was ok. It was about him and not about her. All the pain and fear surfaced and the sobs became louder though no one heard and she felt alone as she sat on that floor in the corner of the room and rested her head against the bureau.

Tuesday Tuesday

These shoes were made for working especially when you wear a suit and your career is in Therapy.

 

 

I have to thank my mother for these shoes and four other pairs that she gave me from her closet. I guess I know where I inherited the shoe "gene".

 

 

 

 Congrats to my husband who illustrated this book's cover. Seasons of Misery is an American Studies book used at Berkeley and University of California. Today the show Man Cave requested that some of his artwork be used in one of their television shows. Bill is involved in talks to make a deal.

www.billcannon.net

My view from my office window this afternoon.

Blessed

Dad said, "he bought me these kittens because I am one of his five kittens".

 

They found a home in front of the sliding glass doors  leading to the balcony. When I saw these "kittens", my first "thought" was "she" will love these.

 

The cross with the double rings is from my grandparents' 50th anniversary party that was held on December 1st, 1978. My grandfather was a "Gallagher" and he left this world on November 27th, 1980 while my grandmother was a "Boland" who left this world July 30th, 1990. I am grateful that I had my grandparents until my 20th then 30th birthday. They were an enormous part of my upbringing. Mom gave me this frame then she gave me this stature.

 

When I saw this stature, tears swelled up in my eyes because this stature represents my grandmother's death in 1990. Mom told me this stature was in my grandmother's casket. I never knew that. What I did know was there were four statures that were on the four corners of grandmom's casket. I was with my mom when she picked out the casket upon the death of my grandmother. I recall my mom saying, "this will be my last gift to her" and purchased the beautiful casket with its art work. The four corners of the casket had the statures as part of the structure whereas there was a separate fifth stature inside the casket itself.

 

The Grieving  Blessed Mother holding her son upon her lap. I believe it is a sign from heaven that I recognized this stature at this time just 23 years after my grandmother's death. I know she watches me from heaven and I know she loved the Blessed Mother. As a mother of sons especially one son who struggles, I believe the Blessed Mother has a special place in her heart for me. There was a time when I asked the question, "why me"? Now I ask the question, "why not me"? I will not be the first nor the last mother on this earth who has felt pain. 

 

I had a close and loving relationship with my grandparents especially my grandmother. As my mother gave me this stature, I felt the love in her heart for me. How could I have ever doubted the love she and my Dad have for me?

 

The stature has a place in my China Cabinet this evening.

You Are Never Too Old

I drove up to Washington Crossing after my visit with Joe to see my parents. I am still up here at their house. You are never too old to have a sleepover! My parents will be joining us in Ireland. I made their flight and hotel arrangements last night over Chinese food and wine. It was an evening filled with laughter, a few tears and lots of chat. As I write this post, Bill is out photographing and Dad is attending mass. Mom and I had coffee and bagels. I escaped to the other room to write while I hear mom in the kitchen. All is well in this peaceful safe haven.

A Week in the Life

I have thrown myself into "everything" Irish this past week. Researching. Planning. Booking. Recognizing a dream come true. I have been to many places, seen many things, had different experiences but this trip will be special because after two decades of researching my family, I am going to walk the places they walked, see the sights, they seen, I hope to uncover more details about their lives. I recently discovered my Gallagher clan is from the parish of Adara. I always knew they were from Donegal but I never knew the exact village.

Reservations are made. I wanted to stay in three distinct locations, Dublin (Urban Life), Donegal (Royal Life) and County Mayo (Rural Life). That being said, we will fly into Dublin and spend the first two nights in the Temple Bar section of the city. My goals are to visit Trinity College, St. Patrick's Cathedral and National Irish Museum. I look forward to the cobblestone streets and the artsy culture.

Next it is off to Donegal. As per my grandson's request, we will stay in a castle. 2014 is the year my eldest grandchild turns 13 years old so he will come with us. My goal is to bring each grandchild to Ireland in and around their 13th birthday. Memory Making.

While in Donegal, we plan to visit the towns of Adara (Gallagher Clan), Letterkenny (McCafferty/McCaffery Clan), the cliffs overlooking the North Atlantic Ocean. We will spend Easter weekend at the castle, the most relaxed and expensive journey of our trip.

After Easter weekend, we will drive down to County Mayo, I wanted to experience the rural side of Irish life, so I rented a cottage. on the border of County Mayo and Sligo.

The grounds surrounding the cottage are filled with sheep.

I did not want to stay in the crowded town of Ballina and the tiny town of Killala did not offer much in the way of lodging, so I picked this area to stay. However, the goal is to explore Ballina (Boland, Doherty Clan) and the village of Killala (Boland, Doherty Clan). The plan is to experience the coastal and rural parts of County Mayo. Where the hills and mountains meet the sea.

The last night we will spend in Dublin since that is where we will fly home. In the coming months, I will research specific areas to visit in and around the three locations in which we will stay.

Other News:

I tried out a new recipe for authentic bread pudding. Here are the results.

 

As it baked in the oven, the aroma filled the house. I made a sauce to go over the pudding. Yummy! I will bring a tray to my son this weekend along with a chocolate truffle babka.

 

Nikolas on Halloween night with his goodies.

 

 

 

These boots were made for walking.

 

 

 

Hanging with my long time friend, Regina. We know each other since a teenager.

 

 

 

Carmel to die for pudding.

 

 

 

Look who came to visit outside our bedroom window.

 

 

 

She made me this.

 

 

 

Flowers are forever on my table.

 

 

Excited

The flights are booked. Car is rented. We are leaving for Ireland on April 15th, my grandfather's birthday. How appropriate to leave for Ireland with my husband and eldest grandchild on the anniversary of my own grandfather's birthday whose Gallagher Roots are from Donegal. This trip has been on my "bucket list" for years. I researched my Gallagher, McCaffery/McCafferty, Cafferty, Boland ancestors (direct line) and now I will walk on the ground they walked on, see the country they saw and enjoy the culture, they knew. Lately, I have felt this very strong need to go and go soon. I am not sure what my internal motivation/drive is coming from though I am sure it has much too do with the current circumstances of my life and the realization of how short life can be and how it can change in a blink of an eye.

I wanted to go for Christmas but the short notice at work and the time needed to plan was too short. (Though I have been known to throw a vacation together quickly) I also wanted to talk to my son about it. I needed his OK. I needed to know it was OK for me to leave. Had he said otherwise, I would have not made the reservations. He was "thrilled" and gave his immediate "blessing". "Mom, I want you to go and have a good time. I will be OK. If I need anything, Dad can help me". He and I are going to do some Christmas shopping via computer this weekend. We have a list from her.

In the end, we will not spend Christmas but Easter in Ireland. I have not made hotel arrangements yet though I have been searching. We will fly into Dublin and we plan to spend one night in the city before we drive the three hours "West" to Donegal. In Donegal, I want to spend one or two nights in a castle. (My grandson's request) then I want to stay in a B&B and/or thatch cottage in County Mayo preferably in or around Ballina and/or Killala.  We will drive back to Dublin and spend another night in the city before we fly back home. A "must see" in Dublin is the National History Museum of Ireland and a quick meal and beer at the Guinness Brewery. Otherwise, it is all about seeing, being and living among the locals.

To answer my own question about the internal motivation, times are tough and things look bleak. Instead of falling into a dark hole, it is about grasping the light at the end of the dark tunnel. There is not a better way of fighting through the dark night then to grasp onto the hope of a promising future. In this way, I move forward. I know that if I do not move forward, my children, my grandchildren will have a difficult time moving forward. If I have learned anything over these past three years it is "my mood" directly "impacts" those closest to me. I have come to realize that in order for those I love to "be ok" and "to move forward", I must model that behavior. Despite any internal war and/or pain I might feel, I will not fall into some dark abyss because I do not want those I love to fall into the abyss. Our hardship has not destroyed us, We found a way to close ranks. We are coming out stronger than ever despite what anyone else thinks, feels or believes.

Maybe, there is a God and maybe that God is working through us.

Ballina

Ballina is the largest town in Mayo with a population of 10,056 people (2006 Census) and was founded by Lord Tyrawley in 1723 but the settlement on the banks of the Moy existed long before the early 18th century, the original name of the town was Belleek or in Irish, Béal Atha an Fheada (mouth of the ford).

Ballina town is situated in Kilmoremoy parish, named for the ancient monastic site of Cill Mhór na Muaidhe. The remains of the church and enclosure are still visible at Leigue Cemetery on the Killala road. The town nestles on the Moy plain, with the Ox Mountains to the east and Nephin to the west.
Ballina town developed as a small sea port and market town on the estuary of the River Moy, it expanded after The Quay was built in 1836. In the early 20th century coal, cement, tar, timber, and food (tea fruit and coffee) were among the items imported into Ballina. It was a significant port for the export of livestock to Great Britain until World War II. The Quay is now primarily used for pleasure boats.

The Quay, Bunree and Ardnaree are the oldest parts of Ballina town and were originally part of Co. Sligo until the Local Government Act of 1898. A castle was built later on the same site. The remains of the Augustinian Abbey dated to 1427 can still be seen on the east bank of the river beside the Neo-Gothic-style St. Muredach’s Cathedral. The Ardnaree area was disturbed by the English conquests of the 16th and 17th centuries, the most notable event being the Battle of Ardnaree in 1586.
Battle of Ardnaree: September 23, 1586

In the 16th century the Mac Philbins and Mayo Burkes rebelled against the brutal English rule. They had enlisted the help of Scottish settlers (Scottish mercenary light infantrymen). Sir Richard Bingham, governor of Connacht, surrounded the camp by night and slaughtered some 2000 men, women and children. He then went on to hang the leaders of the Burkes. The former lands of Mac Philbins and Mayo Burkes were given to English settlers.

In 1723, Lord Baron of Tyrawley established the linen industry. He brought a large number of skilled flax and linen workers to the town. The factory did not last more than thrity years. He also obtained a patent for fairs and markets which increased trade to the town. From the mid 18th century Ballina also became a garrison town with the erection of the Military Barracks and staff quarters in 1740. The Ham bridge was built in the early 19th century, which accelerated the growth of the town across the river Moy
.
In 1798 came the French invasion through Kilcummin and Humberts arrival in Ballina when the local garrison, under Col. Sir T. Chapman and Major Kier of the Carbineers retreated to Foxford.
The Workhouse was built in 1835 and the Courthouse and Bridewell was built in the 1840s. In 8th May 1873 the railway came to Ballina.

After the establishment of the Irish Free State in 1922, Ballina Urban District Council changed the town’s street names to honour those patriots killed in the Republican cause since 1798. Knox Street which was named after a landlord family was changed to Pearse Street, Gore Street was changed to Lord Edward Street, Arran Street to Tone Street, King Street to O’Rahilly Street and John Street to Casement Street.

Later

Five hours later and I await the appearance of the sun or least the dawn. The last time I looked at the clock was 1:36am. The alarm went off at 5:30am. I am very tired. Writing helps. My living journal! Tonight. Pray for sleep.

Sleepless

Can't sleep. After a hour of tossing and turning, I gave up and took myself out of bed and into the recliner. I am repeating last night. I cannot shut down my mind. I am worried. God in your mercy, please do not take him away from me.

I spent the evening looking at all things "Irish". Tomorrow I will book the flights. That will be step two of the process.

One of my patients got up from the chair, walked across the room, stopped in front of me, pointed a finger and placed me on blast. Two other patients in my group thought I needed protection. It happened so fast......one..... two..... three.... Before I knew it the scene was over. It was a wrap. I managed to convince the others I could handle myself...I remained calm. The patient walked out of the room. I walked into the Director's office. Administrative discharge. It is never a good idea to threaten staff in front of a group. Especially if staff is the therapist. Felt freaked out in the comfort of my office. My feathers rarely get ruffled. That sort of threat was a close call. I was one finger away from being punched. You have to have a thick skin to work with this population.

I really need to sleep. I am not good without sleep. One night I can survive. The second night gets risky. By the third night, I am a disaster waiting to happen. I am like a small child. Cranky without sleep or when hungry.

What will tomorrow bring?

It is tomorrow.

The sun will not rise for another 6 hours.

All the Smiles in the World

Cannot prevent a rough night. The mask I put on during the day has a way of removing itself when the night falls upon me. Last night was an especially bad night. That feeling of fear engulfed me and no matter what thoughts I tried to replace or self talk I spoken, the fear felt enormous. Therefore, I spent the hours telling myself to "give it up to God" Just before 5am, I got up and went into the shower to remove the cobwebs and ease the tension in my neck and head. Bill got up earlier than usual and put the coffee on. I am drinking my second cup waiting for the sun to rise. Even on my days off, I watch the sun rise. This is my time. My moment of meditation and inner peace. In just a few minutes, I will put the suit and heels on, grab my lunch bag, water bottle and purse and begin my work day. Meatballs sit in the refrigerator waiting to be cooked for tonight's dinner. I make a mental note that I have to deposit a check in the bank on my way home, review the day's one on one sessions, group, meeting, complete paperwork on a pending discharge, wonder how many admissions came in overnight and how many I will need to assign to counselors.

The sun is creeping up behind the hills in the distance with colors of red and orange. Another day has come.

O'Donnell Castle

Before

 

Click to enlarge

Donegal Castle, by the banks of the river Eske, was built by Hugh Roe O'Donnell in 1474. Red Hugh O'Donnell - fought bravely against the English in many a battle, one of which is commemorated in the song "O'Donnell Abu". Sadly, his last great battle was to be Kinsale in 1601 when his army marched non-stop from Donegal and were badly defeated. The tactics decided in the castle prior to the battle were to have significant ramifications for the country.
It is said that Red Hugh, aware of his imminent fate, destroyed the castle before leaving, "to prevent this fortress of the Gael becoming a fortress of the Gall". On capture, the English were able to fortify such castles and use them as a base to attack the Irish. However, this is what happened with the castle being granted to Captain Basil Brooke in 1611. He extended the manor house to the existing tower house and is indeed claimed to be the architect responsible for the layout of Donegal Town Centre.

After passing through several generations of Brookes before falling into decay in the 18th century, the then owner (the Earl of Arran) placed the castle in the guardianship of the Office of Public Works in 1898.

 

Only in recent times has the castle been restored, furnished throughout with Persian rugs and French tapestries. Writing about the castle's history, the author John M. Feehan goes as far as to suggest that the whole history of Ireland for three hundred years was decided within the castle walls before Kinsale. He recommends that we should "step up to them, touch, and say a silent prayer for the brave men who blundered so badly in those far-off days".

                                                             After

 

The castle is now a hotel and one which we plan to spend a night or two. We decided to go over Easter instead of Christmas. I took the first step and asked for the days off. We are planning an April 15th departure and will fly into Dublin spend one night before driving west to Donegal. No tours for us. We want to explore the country, meet the locals and enjoy ordinary life. We will stay in a castle while in Donegal. However, we will stay in a rural cottage in County Mayo.

Killala

My great grand mother Agnes Bridget Boland McCaffery (McCafferty) was born in this tiny village with a population of 500 people before she relocated with her family to Ballina.

 Killala , County Mayo in the West of Ireland

Location

Killala (in Irish: Cill Ala) is a picturesque seaside village six and a half miles north-west of Ballina in north Mayo, famous in Irish history for the part it played in the 1798 rebellion.

History

In August of 1798 General Humbert arrived into Kilcummin pier from France and combined with the Irish forces against the English forces in the area. This year is chronicled in Irish history as the Year of the French and a book and television history celebrate this unique event.
Consequently, Killala has become a popular location for the historian and in fact was used as a major location for the 1981 multi million pound film "The Year of the French". In 1998 Killala celebrated the bicentenary by twinning with a town in Chauve in France.

Killala Round Tower

Killala's skyline is dominated by a round tower, dating to the 12th century, a testament to the historic distinction of the village as an ecclesiastical centre. The Killala round tower was most likely used as a belfry and is one of the best examples of round towers in Mayo.
In the centre of Killala there is a Church of Ireland cathedral, built in 1670 over the remains of a ruined Catholic cathedral that had stood on the same site. The adjoining graveyard has a 9th century souterrain with numerous chambers.
The origins of the Killala diocese date from the time of St Patrick who appointed his disciple, St Muredach, over the church there - dating back to 442 or 443 AD.

Archaeology

The area is rich in archaelogical remains such as:

• Rosserk Abbey (founded in 1400 AD as an early Franciscan Friary)
• Moyne Abbey
• Rathfran Abbey (Dominican Priory 1274 AD)
• Meelick Castle
• Humberts Rock
• Céide Fields (the oldest enclosed farms in the world) are a short distance away near Ballycastle.

If my husband can get off from work around Christmas, there is a good chance I will be here!

Root Beer

Good Time at Terry and Regina's house in Royersford tonight! Regina made the dinner and I brought the wine. Played with their chocolate lab "Root Beer". He is the sweetest dog, full of energy and huge! He is well trained by his owners. Of course that is until I come over. What can I say? That dog loves me!

Hello

I ordered the third and final holiday ham today for my son. All three boys and families have a ham on the way.

Did I mention I am glad the weekend is upon us and better yet, I have off from work?

I think my mother went away for a long weekend with my sister and her friends. Why I do not know for sure is because no one told me. Welcome to my family life! We are thick as thieves.

I ate a slice of chocolate truffle babka from Panera Breads. Totally delicious and sweet.

I asked my oldest son what his Thanksgiving plans were. Truth be told, I am looking for an invitation as I will probably work (I volunteered) however if I do not work or receive an invitation, I will probably try and spend the day out of town though I do have to work the following weekend. My middle son will be with his in-laws and my youngest son will be with his father.

I want to take the grandsons out to dinner and/or spend a day with them. I have Halloween cards for them. Trying to schedule some time with them is tough because of sports. I did spend time with my granddaughter and she received her card. My granddaughter is busy with cheerleading, swimming and daisies. They are all growing up.

My renter replaced the bounced check. This time I deposited the check in my savings account, so if it does not clear, I will not mess up the checking account.

I went to the salon after work last night. I liked my hair last night. However, I am not so sure tonight.

My office at work is like a furnace. They really need to lower the heat. My office is on the third floor of an old mansion and it is too cold in the summer and too hot in the winter. They never seem to get the temperature right for the building. I can handle the cold much better than the hot. I hate the heating system as it feels as though the moisture is being sucked out of my skin and hair let alone, I cannot breath. I dress in layers but that does not help the dryness. Then, there are the chemicals housekeeping sprays to clean. Good God!

The next few weeks are going to be tough. I am very lucky to have a job I like. It helps to stay busy. At times, I wish I had someone to talk to. Yes. I have Bill. Sometimes, I wish I had a female to talk to. I am sure I will be fine. I always find a way to survive no matter what. I teach my patients to face their fears, I need to practice what I preach. I have been a lot better with facing my fears. God knows, I have had little choice in the matter.

Today was dress down Friday at work. Jeans and boots were the order of the day, instead of the usual suit and pumps.

Trying to decide how to spend our weekend. Bill wants to take advantage of the Fall season for photography (his side job). I looked into our usual haunts such as Gettysburg or Mountains and some of the old favorites Arlington or Baltimore. Nothing final. I must admit Bill is a wonderful photographer. Take a look for yourself www.billcannon.net   

Another Day in the Life of Me

I ordered Holiday Hams to be delivered to the boys today. I ordered them earlier than last year and two out of three will receive them next week so they can be enjoyed. I began this practice a few years ago. It is a new tradition. I generally order them for Christmas but I wanted them sent out early this year. Christmas will be simple this year. Everyone will receive gift cards. I cut back a lot last year. I will give to the same folks I gave to last year. Most importantly, I will give to my children and grandchildren. Once upon a time, I had Christmas Eve open house every year. This will be the third year in a row I suspended that tradition. I send hams and go to their homes. I volunteered to work both Thanksgiving and Christmas Day so that others can have off. I do not have small children or have to drive hours to see family.

I really could do without the additional weight gain that had the nerve to sneak up on me. I never worried about weight and my height was good at hiding any additional pounds here and there. No one told me about weight gain after menopause and the fact the weight falls in the belly area. I want to know why it is called MEN O PAUSE. Are we pausing the men in our lives? Seriously? I did some reading on the subject and was surprised that muscle around the belly turns to fat once estrogen levels drop. In order to combat the belly fat, a post menopausal woman must reduce her daily calorie intake about 50 to 100 and exercise 40 minutes every day. Sounds simple? Right? I am still trying to figure the 40 minutes in a 10 to 12 hour work day EVERY BLESSED DAY and does that mean tread mill and weight lifting or can that be walking and biking. Then, there is the cold winter months. Does this mean I have to give up that tasty dessert or glass of wine? Do they sell sugarless and fat free wine? Does sitting in a hot tub count for exercise? If it does I am so very in. I have come to the conclusion that I am not aging gracefully.

Why must one's supervisor send a group text message to all the counselors at 715p to notify us that we must be in the boardroom at 915a for a meeting with the CEO? Does not give me a fuzzy feeling.

I noticed I am writing more. I am writing nearly every day. Boring!

Profession

We have treatment team everyday. At this treatment team sit nine counselors, director, and UR. We discuss patients. We get ideas. We get support. We also discuss things like patient awareness, teamwork, etc.. Yesterday, the director brought up patient awareness and began to share about a patient whom he had a conversation. The patient told him "I" and "yes" that would be "me" was the "best counselor he ever had and he had been in three rehabs this past year".

I am humble on two fronts; the patient saying this and my director bringing it up in treatment team.

It is nice to know that the work you do can actually make a difference to another person. I really work hard. I really put my entire self into this profession. I am humble and grateful because I know it is not about me but about the person who is ready to change. I was just in the right place at the right time.

Mom

I came across the following article and I wanted to share it here. Maybe someone will come across this site and the article may just be what that person needs to read. Because I teach Family Education and counsel those with addictions I thought it may be a good article to present. I am also a mom and I must admit that when I read this I began to swell up with tears. A mother's pain for her child is the greatest pain. I truly believe that. Addiction is just one aspect of pain. How many of "us" moms have sat in a dark room and sobbed in silence? How many of us shut our self off from the world? How many of us had people in our lives whom we thought were supportive only to discover they were talking behind our backs, putting us down, judging us before they walked away? How many of us pleaded and begged God then discovered God was not there or worse yet began to believe God never existed? Do not get me started on the guilt and blame. What did we do wrong? What could we have done better? Why did we not see it? What kind of mothers are we? We do not need anyone to make us feel bad, we are really great to do it to ourselves. After work today, I stopped at the Acme on Ridge Ave. I have not shopped there since 2011. I like to grocery shop at the Acme. I am not fond of Giant or Weismann's and Whole Foods can be costly. I grabbed a shopping cart and walked down the aisles and I felt "normal". Sounds kind of crazy to feel "normal" in a grocery store. I have not felt "normal" in a long time and to have this feeling was wonderful. It is the simple things in life that carry us.

"With the door shut and lights off, a mom is crying. She pours her heart out to "God," and then screams at Him, asking why He doesn't respond. She doesn't answer the phone, call her friends, get dressed, or do her h...air and makeup like she used to. In fact, she doesn't do anything like she used to do. Her work suffers, her relationships suffer, her life has become one of regrets, mistakes, and sorrow. She sits in the dark thinking of all the things she did wrong in her life, begging forgiveness from God, from her friends, from her family, and she wishes she could die. Her friends and family have nothing to give her, they are secretly relieved when she doesn't talk to them anymore. So she pores through the internet, through books, watching The Doctors, Oprah, and Dr. Phil looking for solutions, for answers, for help . . . and there is none. This wounded, broken mom is an addicts mom. And I know this mom personally. She was me, the Executive Director of The Addict's Mom. She was Barbara Theodosiou, the Founder of the Addict's Mom. She was Kathy Frasier, our Regional Director. She was one of the thousands of moms we have met who have joined The Addict's Mom groups. For Barbara, Kathy, myself and the thousands of women like us, we have found hope, inspiration, resources, guidance, solace and we have gotten our lives back. For we have found, we are not alone, and we have found empowerment here in the groups of the Addict's Mom.  This is for the mom who doesn't know we are here yet. It is for that mom sitting all alone in a dark room. She is sobbing, and railing at God, she doesn't know where to turn, or who to reach out to. She believes she is a failure, a fraud, for she believes a lie. A lie that tells her she has let down the person she loves most in the world, her child. Help spread awareness of the epidemic of addiction in this nation. An epidemic that has touched 23.5 million Americans. And if there are 23.5 million addicts, it doesn't take much figuring to realize there is double that many people who love them: moms, dads, spouses, sibling, grandparents, friends, and even sadder children. Every addict has someone who loves them. Someone who cares and is wounded, someone who needs help almost as much as the addict does. Please help that person, that wounded mom,  Please don't let them think they are alone any more."

Josh and Ethan