Another Week

I bought this music box for my granddaughter. It plays the song, "you are my sunshine" which is the song Bill once sang to her especially those early days when she was an infant. I had her name engraved into the heart charm. The music box expresses my feelings for my granddaughter as I love you more than words can say. I thought about giving it to her at Christmas though I may hold on to it until she is 18. If I hold on to it, I will keep in my china cabinet.

Last night we all got together at my brother Frankie's house.

 

It was a great time getting all the cousins together though Shaun was down with a stomach bug.

 

During our times together we play a dice game. Money is involved. Nicole was last night's winner. 

 

My nephew Artie is home on break from Albright College. When his father (my brother) died 16 years ago, his mother moved him out of state and over those years our family saw him infrequently so it was especially wonderful that he chose to spend this past week with our family. He is 18yrs old.

 

Christopher is adorable.

 

He had a great time teasing Bill.

 

My Dad is my rock.

Matt is 12 years old and played Christmas songs for us. He is amazingly talented.

 

Sunday morning view and my thoughts are with my family as they are my strength and being with them erases a lot of the pain I feel as this holiday season approaches.

When One Of Us Dies

http://m.buckscountycouriertimes.com/obituaries/bcct/phyllis-a-daino/article_f8a6188a-2478-50f1-a7be-db3cd3f567a2.html?mode=jqm#.UrRSUuyW6DE.facebook
 

Born in Philadelphia, Phyllis was formerly of Northeast Philadelphia before moving to Bucks County 27 years ago.
Phyllis was a graduate of Lincoln High School.
Her devotion to her growing family allowed Phyllis to pursue the love of her life: our family. As time passed, Phyllis decided to start her career outside the home. She attended CHI Technical Institute graduating top of her class in computer office management skills. Over the past fourteen years, Phyllis landed a great position at Tanner Industries in which Phyllis was well respected and loved by her fellow associates. A very special thanks to Brad and Tanner Industries for their unwavering support for Phyllis during her illness.
Phyllis was not an outspoken person. Her gentle ways and words in due season were always given in love. Her faith in Christ allowed her to give to others in times of need. She was a true friend, loving sister, mother, grandmother, and wife.
Phyllis was married to Steve Daino for over 35 years. She is survived by their four children, Jacqueline (Daino) Garcia and husband, Dave Garcia; Steven Daino and wife, Jenny Daino; Michele (Daino) Benham and husband, Jason Benham; and Christopher Daino, and four grandchildren, David, Steven, Bella, and Emily. She is also survived by her mother and father, Joan and Bill Cook; three sisters and one brother, Janet Hacket, Bill Cook and wife, Eileen, Sharon Guerra and husband, Steve, and Nancy Lazarow and husband, Keith.
Phyllis's family would like to give a special thanks to all their family members, friends, and neighbors for their love and support throughout Phyllis's illness. We would also like to thank the staff at Jefferson Neuroscience Hospital for their wonderful care.
Family and friends are invited to call from 6 to 8 p.m., Friday, Dec. 20, at Lamb Funeral Home,101 Byberry Road, Huntingdon Valley, PA 19006. A short viewing will be held from 8:30 to 9:30 a.m., Saturday morning, at Neshaminy Warwick Presbyterian Church,1401 Meetinghouse Road, Warminster, PA 18974. A Memorial service will follow, commencing at 9:30 a.m.
In lieu of flowers, our family would like to celebrate Phyllis's life of love and patience through her remembrance. Lamb Funeral Home,
Huntingdon Valley

Week in Pictures

I feel so different this holiday season than the last few years. I even purchased a poinsettia. It sits on my dining room table.

 

 

I also purchased a  pine bouquet to add a wintery scent to the room.

 

Josh and Lynee spent last weekend with us to celebrate Christmas. I decided to do something different this year. I am spacing out the holiday. I had Josh and Lynee over last weekend. I will have Shaun, Trish and the boys over for breakfast this weekend and either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day I will spend time with Joey. 

 

Josh's new eye candy is a Christmas Gift. I believe it is the year of sneakers and boots this year.

Josh and Lynee went home with a few bags filled with gifts.

 

I pulled out the Nativity Scene.

And the Christmas snowmen.

And created the Christmas Corner.

This morning was the fourth snow storm we had this year.

 

My view from my office window.

 

Christmas is different this year. I spread out the season and accepted every invite to spend time with my wonderful family and friends.

Christmas Corner

 

A small space in the living room to house a tiny tree with a few wooden ornaments, snowmen which represent Shaun, Trish, Joshua, Joseph, Shaun, Nikolas and Ava along with the Nativity Scene. I have not celebrated Christmas since 2010. This year I am celebrating on a smaller scale but at least I am celebrating. I spent nearly three years grieving. The grieving is in my past. I began  moving on this Fall. I am making the best out of the situation. I decided to focus on those who love me and care for me as I am. Some folks have fallen by the wayside and though it took longer for some of those folks to fall (because I could not let go despite behaviors) they are now tucked away in the recesses of my mind but no longer dominate my thoughts or feelings.

I purchased the tiny tree on Friday night in anticipation of Josh and Lynee's visit on Saturday. The visit was wonderful. We ate dinner, talked, laughed, opened gifts and spent the morning after chatting over delicious gourmet coffee. I sent home gifts for Ethan and Chelsea and was surprised when the 3 year old Ethan (under the supervision of Josh & Lynee) called in excitement to thank us for the gifts followed by an email message from the 18 year old Chelsea with a heart felt thank you.  It is really nice to feel appreciated though I must admit I give from my heart without expectation of a thanks.

After they went home this morning, I decided to add to the tiny tree so I went into storage and pulled out the container of decorations. I hesitated at the box for a moment as fear passed over me as I thought about what may be in the box that sat at my feet. I admit I was afraid I would see something that may bring sorrowful memories as it had been nearly three years since I opened this box. I wanted the Nativity Scene so I took a deep breath and opened the box and at the top were the pieces of the Nativity Scene. I was thankful that they sat on the top and I could avoid digging through the box. I did spot the snowmen with the kids/grandkids names on them so I pulled that decoration out as well. These few pieces became known as my Christmas Corner.

I do not know what the future will bring and I do not expect that it will be pain free. However, I believe in my heart that I will be alright as long as I have the love of my family and the protection of the Blessed Mary with God and Jesus.

Will You Join Me.

It really annoys me when I read about school shootings. It infuriates me that the media glorifies these shootings. What ever happened to integrity? I am disgusted by irresponsible journalism. I am even more disgusted that this country does not support the treatment of mental health issues.

Let's start with the media. Is it really necessary to flood the papers, news channels and internet with shootings of children by children? Is it necessary to constantly write about the horrors of Sandy Hook prior to the anniversary until the anniversary then after the anniversary? Did it ever occur to any of those writing these articles that there is some other mentally ill child out there without the "means" to act and that perhaps you may be supplying the "means"? Have you any idea that the constant reporting, glorifying and 24/7 coverage provides some emotionally ill child out there the "idea" of how to "act" on his/her fantasy, distorted thoughts, anger, revenge or neglect? And please do not preach to me that mental illness is an excuse for bad behavior. Try sitting across from a person who hears voices, sees dead people, devils and believes someone or something is after them. Do you believe for one moment that these folks like feeling this way? How would you like it if you thought you saw your dead 12 year old sister sitting across from you and having a conversation with you. Part of you understands that this sister was killed when she was 12 years old after she stepped out into that road while holding your 5 year old hand, was hit in front of your 5 year old eyes and was killed instantly. Spend the following years with survivor's guilt reinforced on a daily basis by your grieving parents who "blame You" for the accident. "If she was not paying attention to you, then "may be" she would have never took that step onto the road and in front of that speeding truck". What if you were brutally raped and beaten and left for dead only to wake up a week later after coming out of that coma, which was a direct result of head trauma only to begin to hear command voices to "stab someone" to the point that if you did not "stab someone" you would be killed?

This stuff is not from a movie. This stuff really happens. I know. I am their therapist.

We live in a country with access to opportunity, to medical care, to advances in drugs and services that can place a person with hallucinations and delusions into remission. So why are there so many mentally ill people living on the streets without access to treatment and services? I have my guesses on the answer. Could it be that insurance companies deny the very basic treatment of a person who may be suicidal and/or homicidal? Try stepping a suicidal or homicidal patient up into a locked unit where medication is mandatory to arrest symptoms. Insurance companies can deny that care if they can justify their answer. What happens to that person? Do we discharge them to the street? There is a 50% chance the facility will keep the patient despite not being paid. Then there are the medications! One medication works better than another medication to arrest symptoms and help the patient live a better quality of life until "bang" insurance does not want to cover (the very expensive cost of) that particular medication because "they" think you should use another "cheaper" medication.  Who cares if the "cheaper" medication is not effective. It's cheaper!

Services for our mentally ill population are sparse. We have a variety of outpatient and day programs, but what we really need are residential programs. I am not talking about state hospitals where everyone is locked up for years (though we do need a few), we need safe residential assistant living programs for mentally ill folks who are stabilized on their medication and still need assistance with daily living and medication compliance. Get them off the streets and out of the shelters and into programs and I guarantee we will see crime rates decrease, homelessness decrease, substance abuse/dependency decrease and productivity increase.

We are a country that does not invest in those who cannot advocate for themselves.

We are a country that hides behinds "stigmas".

We are a country that helps every other country but neglects our own.

We are a country focused on materialistic money motivated means.

We need more people to step up to the plate and advocate for those less able to advocate for themselves.

We need to start caring, have some compassion, understanding, and tolerance.

We need to stop blaming and take responsibility.

Will you join me!

Week in Pictures

I did not take very many pictures this past week on my I-Phone. Most of the week, I wore snow boots. The first day I wore the boots, I packed along a pair of flats to change into after I got to work. Well, I never changed into them and they still sit on the book shelf in my office, I wonder how long they will remain on that shelf. Ask me in the spring,

 

The reason I wore snow boots all week has to do with, "well". Snow.

It appeared fast and furious last Tuesday and really took me by surprise as I drove into work. Well. Tried to drive into work. This was my view from the dashboard. I tried to drive down Ridge Pike but got stuck before Church Rd behind a group of slip sliding cars. I cut down a side street and texted my first "Help" at 745am exactly 45mins after I left my home. (my total drive is less than 30mins) I made it to Germantown Pike and the hill near Chestnut Hill College was as far as I got. More. Cars. Stuck. On. Road. After another hour, I managed to turn the car around and slipped slide all the way down the hill. I will not mention all the hoping and praying on my way down. I made it to a side street where the Northwestern Stables are located pulled the car into a spot and took my first breath in two hours. I texted work. Called work. Sat on the side of the road in the cold snow until I called my husband who was stuck on the turnpike outside of King of Prussia then turned around and picked me up in his 4wheel drive.

Needless to say, I never made it to work and after a four hour ordeal was safely home looking at this view.

The next morning Bill drove me (630am) to the stables where I stood taking pictures of horses playing in the snow while Bill dug the car out. I am nice like that!

 

Yesterday my mom sent me a Christmas card with a check inside. Mom and Dad are going to Ireland with us in the spring. I knew she was sending me a check for her part of the hotel rooms so I had to laugh when I read this note inside.



Finally, I bought that little Christmas Tree at Whole Foods tonight. You remember the one I picked up then put back? Tonight, I saw it again and decided to buy it. Josh and Lynee are spending the day with us tomorrow so now we have both food and a tree.

Genealogist Update

I came across some burial records for both Leverington and Westminster Cemeteries. A few things caught this genealogist's attention. Graves were reopened and relocated much more often than I expected and August 1900 was a horrible year for Diphtheria as there was an epidemic that hit through Manayunk and East Falls. What stood out to me was a family at 3339 W. Clearfield Street where four members of that family died from Diphtheria in a single day. The Flu Epidemic in 1918 resulted in hundreds of deaths and it appears the median age in Philadelphia was those under ten years old especially those under two years old. My journey began when I came across information for the Silverthorns. James Rowley Silverthorn died in 1942 and was interred at Leverington which I thought was strange as his wife Grace Gallagher Silverthorn who died in 1930 was interred at St. John the Baptist. It makes a person wonder why the wife was interred in one cemetery while the husband was interred in another cemetery. Did St. John's run out of space? I know James and Grace had five sons, two whom died as infants in 1906 and 1911 so were they interred at St. John's? Is that why there was not room for James twelve years later? I will probably never find the answers because there were no personal journals written or saved. We can only go by the official records. Some information was verified on Grace Gallagher Silverthorn and some additional information discovered such as Grace was born in April 1880 in Scotland and the exact location was Camghouran. My question is "why did Patrick and Hannah leave Donegal, Ireland and how did they end up in Camghouran, Scotland? Why did they leave Scotland in 1882 and come to Philadelphia? As far as I know, they came to America on their own without other family members. Forget about ever finding the exact year Patrick was born. I cannot find one single record that verifies his birth or even the age he was when he died in the summer of 1910. No age is indicated. Weird. So Gallagher! On the other hand, I can find the age of Hannah. When she died in 1926, she was listed on the records as being 65 years old. Another person of interest was from the Boland Clan. I am not sure if it was 1897 or 1900 but I came across the nephew of John Boland. Edward Boland died as a baby and was interred at Westminster. His father was William Boland who lived on Laboratory Hill. Years later I would come across several Bolands living on or around Laboratory Hill and one of them was my great-grandmother's brother and John's son, John Boland. John would reside on Laboratory Hill with his wife and children and my great great- grandparents until my great great grandmother died in 1926 (Ellen) and their relocation to Germantown.

Week in Pictures

Once a week, I download all the pictures off my I-Phone and upload them here. We will begin with the workweek and all those shoes I wear with all those skirt suits.

 

 

 On the road to the mountains

 

When we reached the mountains we were in the middle of an ice storm, so we stopped at a mall and purchased some spoils including new winter coats for the boys.

 

 After we left the mall and checked into the resort, Nikolas received his birthday gifts.

The ice turned to snow so the boys made snowballs out on the balcony of our room at the resort. You would never know they both have blue eyes from this demonic shot.

 

Early the next morning, I sat drinking my coffee, listening to the babbling brook and watching the boys as they slept snuggled under their down comforters.

 

The resort has a cute little buffet breakfast café which had a great view of the freshly laid snow.

 

The boys enjoyed making their own Belgium waffles under the supervision of the Mom Mom.

 

After breakfast we went outside on the deck to have our picture taken by the Christmas Tree. We did not have our coats (back in the room) and yes it was cold.

 

Saturday afternoon, my sister Marianne and her husband Ron along with their two grandsons Joseph and Collin joined us for the day to swim then eat at the Japanese Restaurant. My sister and her husband have a mountain home about 45 mins south of the resort.

Fabulous Four

 

After dinner, we took a walk on the trail located on the resort's property through the woods by the stream and waterfall.

 

Marianne told ghost stories and we wondered if we would see a bear.

 

Bill and Marianne on the other side of the bridge.

 

Sunday morning came and I watched these two sleep, though you really cannot see Nikolas as he is the lump to the right of Shaun.

 

We stopped at Denny's for breakfast after we checked out of the resort.

 

Once we got outside of Montco, the ice fell and there were accidents all over the turnpike. We decided it was too dangerous to drive the boys home to Delaware County, so we made a stop at our place where I made Hot Coco, spaghetti  and we dined at the table, Bill and I rarely use anymore.

A few hours later our weekend came to an end when Bill switched vehicles (got into the four wheel drive) and drove the boys down to Delaware County and home. The birthday weekend was a huge success and many more great memories were made.