Catalina Island

Also considered paradise with a sense of adventure for me. Eric came into California from new Mexico and my sister and I decided to make this a fun day for our mother to ease the pain and stress, she has endured over these last few months. Day two, we went to Long Beach to board a ferry to Catalina Island. Yes. We drove through Newport Beach and Laguna Beach but Catalina Island was our destination and all I can say, WOW!.

The trip took a total of one hour and we passed the Queen Mary Ocean Liner from the early 1900's, which is now made into a floating hotel.

This part of the Pacific also meant drilling for oil, so we past riggs and tankers. They try to dress up the riggs as to decrease the eye sore it creates.

 Light House on the way.

Odds and Ends on the way.

 First sight of island.

Getting closer.

Closer

Harbor Views

In the town itself.

Day One San Juan Capistrano

Mountains while in flight to Orange County Airport.

San Juan Capistrano Beach Sunset

Evening Beach

Waves Crashing on the beach

These waves are nothing like the waves at home in the Atlantic. These Pacific Ocean waves are meant for surfing. We arrived in California after a long eight hour trip through crowded airports, a two hour layover in Chicago, then another four hours onto Southern Californian Airport known as SNA, better known as John Wayne or Orange County Airport. We rented a car, drove another 30 minutes in traffic, checked into the Hilton across from Capistrano Beach, changed, ate, then went to the hospital to see Uncle Jack. At this time, I do not want to talk about Uncle Jac,k because the man I saw in that bed was not the man, I knew all my life. It was painful to see him suffer, After our visit, we went to the beach (pictures above) and took in the beauty God created. Next set of pictures are from the hotel itself.

 Exotic Flowers

Houses up on the hills

Concludes Day #1

On a Jet Plane

The mums are blooming. The dark purple one is especially beautiful. Tonight, I will meet up with my mother at the airport Hilton for a very early flight to California tomorrow morning. Marianne will meet us at the airport in the morning. We will be staying at the Hilton in San Juan Capistrano, and I am not sure of their Internet access, but I am bringing my laptop anyway. The flight will be long because there is no direct flights to Orange County Airport. We have a layover in Chicago to and a layover in Houston on the way back. Marianne is staying until Tuesday. I am staying with my Mother the entire week or more. Uncle Jack is going home on Hospice and since Mom has been living out of a suitcase for two months between Uncle Jack and Uncle Gene, she is fried. She helps everyone else. Her daughters are now going to help her.

My Uncle and Aunt live in Capistrano, so we will be close by. My cousin Eric is flying in from New Mexico and my cousin Matt is flying in from Texas. I am not sure about John in Hawaii, since he was just in or Paul in Colorado. My family is large and this is our norm. We are there for each other.

My session with David was good yesterday. I have to admit since I began working with him, I feel so much better about myself. He is pleased with my progress. Since I started working with him, I learned three very important factors to apply to my life and since I have applied them, I feel so much freedom. First, I may feel responsible but I am not responsible. Second, the importance of establishing emotional boundaries and not allow other people's issues take space up in my head. Third, the only decisions I am responsible for are my own. I am not responsible for other people's choices, and when a child becomes an adult, they are responsible for their own decisions and if they make a poor choice, hopefully they learn from it. Their poor choices does not mean bad parenting.

Since my stress level has been reduced, my creativity level has increased. I am not grieving losses anymore, but looking towards the future. I have not had a nightmare since I started seeing David. I am actually doing genealogy with my daughter-in-law and having great fun with it. We spent a good deal of last night chatting back and forth about the things we uncovered in the Weihe family. When I get back from California, I am going to take her on a cemetery hike. She created her own website for genealogy and it is really good. One of the things, we discovered is there is a strong German background and her ancestors built the California RailRoads in the 1800's.

Today, I want to get my hair done and pack. I think I will try and sleep a bit, since I still do not sleep well. The best decision I made was taking a five week hiatus from work. I did not realize had much I needed it.  

I Wish I Were a Bird

I wish I were a bird

So I could fly away from here

And watch as the sky disappears

I would no longer have to search

For what it is I miss

I would fly yonder

Behind the hidden mist

As my wings grow weary

And its time to rest

I hope I disappear

Over the beautiful mountain mist

And if you should miss me

Know that I am there

Above the sky beyond

The hidden beauty of bliss

The art work is by Bill, the poem was written by me. It is amazing how much more creative I feel now that my stress level has been reduced. I am writing more. The above poem was written in less than 3 minutes yesterday.

Fall in Philadelphia

Living in Roxborough the NorthWest Section of Philadelphia represents not only a place with a history of post-civil industry, but a place of hidden beauty called the Wissahichon Park, which in of itself is a part of Fairmount Park. I no longer live in the city. but I work in the city and I have an office in a third floor 19th century house with three windows that allow me to grace my eyes upon the beauty of the park. When I was a little girl, my grandpop taught me to fish in the creek. We would go before dawn, and while he set up to fish, I would wrap a blanket tightly around me for the air was cool, before the sun shone their the tall trees, and I would often times sleep as my grandpop would fish for catfish. He never ate them, but threw them back into the creek. It was these days that he taught me to bate a line and toss it into the creek. My grandpop loved to fish, and took every opportunity to do so.

Now I have grandchildren of my own whom I did not teach to fish, but taught to explore the surrounding woods of the park. The ducks love to hang around Valley Green and today, one can stop for an ice cream or an entire meal while sitting outdoors. Valley Green is a perfect place to have a party or a meal in their quaint dining area indoors. I cannot count how many times, I have taken the grandchildren down there to feed the ducks, walk the trials, and eat that special treat.

This area means alot to me as I was taken there as a child, then brought my own sons and now take my own children. Great memories have been made in this place of beauty. Memories I hold dear to my heart and hope my children and their children will hold close to their hearts.

 

God

I am tired. What a long night. Uncle Jack was taken back to ICU for more blood, because he is bleeding again. Location unknown at this moment. I was on the phone with my cousin most of the night. Matt lives in Texas and received the call from Kathleen. He was so worried. He lives in Texas and just came home and of course my uncle is in California.

I was on the phone at 3am with my mom who is down the shore taking care of another uncle who is sick.

I was on the phone at 7am with my sister who is processing the fact, her friend with lung cancer has it now in her brain and decided no more treatment. My sister already lost two close friends this year.

Like I said, it has been a long night.

I am eating some wheat toast and fresh fruit and having coffee. I am also debating whether or not I should go back to sleep though that does not mean I will be able to sleep.

When I was looking for a tie back for my hair (I have several left over from Ava), I came across a picture at the bottom of the bag. It was taken at Hershey Park during Christmas Season, a few years back with me holding Ava and the boys (Shaun &Nikolas) standing on both sides of Santa. The kids look so young and my hair was so short. Ava had on a denim jumper, pink top, white tights and pink shoes. Nikolas was rolling his eyes. Shaun was making a funny face and Santa had the biggest smile. The picture is so adorable. It is now on my night stand. It made me smile because I remember that night so well. We went to see the lights and chocolate factory. The place was wall to wall people. When we came across Santa (who we were not looking for), there was no line so the kids went to see him. Afterwards, we had ice cream and then drove home. It was a day trip. One of many day trips we took with the kids.

Grandpoles Halloween Cards

The best part about having cards that were created by my husband is they are artistic and you can personalize them. I like to create my own messages for every card I send. I recently got into having cards made for the grandchildren and for the first time, I am having my Christmas Cards personalized too. I have a grandson who has a birthday in November and I had his card made up a few months ago.
These cards are really minature pieces of art that can be framed if one likes them. All cards are already 5 by 7. His work can be framed, done in canvas or metal or have made into posters. Various sizes and shapes included. All family and friends receive discounts up to and including 100% which means they pay for the framing and printing and we do not make a profit. Bill has his work hanging in a hotel in KOP, Penn State and various other places. I am not going to show the birthday card or Christmas Card until it gets closer to the holiday in which they are intended for. I do need to add an element of surprise to those who will be receiving them.

In My Life

I have seen so much and every stone I came upon, I walked over it and did not hide under it. The song In My Life is beautiful, and so is the art work my husband produces. I am in awe of his creativity. I decided to begin using some of his work on my site, because I like pictures to accompany my writing. It also gives others a chance to see what he is capable of, while I have a theme to focus upon.

The photo posted at midnight, so I am a little late in writing about it.

In my life, I have experienced many ups and downs, came across liars, manipulators, passive aggressive behaviors, and at the same time came across the most loving, caring authentic people I was blessed to meet.

First of all, I take every opportunity to keep my distance from passive aggressive, borderline type people whether they be a stranger, or someone I have known for years. These types use words and behaviors that are the exact opposite of their intentions, and if a person is not alerted to the soft manipulation, one can easily fall under their spell. Bottom line is they lie with sweet talk to get what they want. I always said, I rather be punched, than deal with their sneak attacks. I do not like to be played. I do not like games when it involves feelings or hurt.

On the other hand, there is the caring, loving person who does not use the vulnerability of others, but steps up to the plate with their genuine authentic self. They do things out of the kindness of their hearts, without the needed recognition or attention, the passive aggressive/borderlines seek. They are also the ones who get hurt, because they are often taken for granted and when push comes to shove, they are often forgotten and shut out.

The most difficult thing for me is to watch how this can impact one.

If someone wants to play both sides, count me out. I walked away from a person like that several years ago. Use your sugar and honey to lure, I will continue to be straight forward. I am not perfect, but at least I make an effort to change that which I do not like in myself.

Today, I am most grateful that I married an amazing caring loving man who is not afraid to stand by my side through the rough times, though he never had to. He was a single carefree guy with no children living and working in Florida. He left all that behind to stand by my side, and has been by my side ever since. He has been generous to my children and grandchildren. He fell in love with my grandchildren with entire heart and soul. I know. I see it. The Sunday morning breakfast, the vacations, the walks in the parks teaching and sharing what he knew. He taught each and everyone of my grandchildren how to use a computer, play a guitar, watch silly movies and sing songs to cranky crying little ones while rocking them to sleep. He reads to them. Takes the time to talk to them. And told me on more than one occasion, "Thank you for bringing children into my life".

I spent so much of our nearly six years of marriage wrapped up in the chaos that I took him for granted. I will never take him for granted again. He deserves respect, because he earned it. I wish others could see, but then again, these types (him) are generally left in the background and forgotten. However, I will not forget. I am sure the grandchildren will not forget. It would be hard to forget with the thousand pictures, we took over the last six years.